Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

The guilt of choosing the path with the weird inconsistent funds is one that I have been battling for the last 3 years (when I decided to embrace again the reason I moved from Chicago in the first place). And it always comes up when I transition back into performing full time. This is what triggers it. Not a bill or my bank account looking scary. What triggers it for me is an email from my dear friends that includes a job description. Usually some amazing job that is seeking a Director or Coordinator of Education, and in the message is usually the sentence, "I thought of you when I saw this." No, you weren't. Now let me preface this for all my well meaning friends. This is not an attack or ungratefulness. This is an honest reaction that I am sure you have no idea that you trigger with those emails. Each time these emails come through advertising a "real" job I begin to feel guilty for not applying. I feel guilty for not maximizing the 2 degrees and years o...

Auditions. What can I say? Imagine me screaming at the top of my lungs and pulling out my locs. Does that give you an idea? Auditions are a necessary and crucial aspect of this business we call acting. Once a week (or at times more), I find myself standing in a room with a total stranger singing my 16 bar selection or performing my 2 contrasting monologues. You attempt to bring all of your personality and talent into 2 minutes. Not only do they seek talented individuals but they also prefer actors they want to work with. (Check all attitude at the door) No matter how long you have been doing this many of us still have to audition in order to get a job. Unlike the letter or rejection email you may get from a traditional career, you will never know why you were not selected. It could have been your height, ethnicity/complexion shade, hair style, body type, the fact you wear glasses, or that you remind them of someone who they don't like. Did you notice that all of these things ar...

There have been times when my life as an artist and parent have brought me to a proverbial cliff. And when I felt as if I wanted to leap or simply throw my hands in the air and say, Fuck it! Someone or some circumstance grabbed me by the back of my shirt and yanked me back into the world. The last time I spoke about how faith sustains me. But I also have a support system.  It consists of fellow artists, family, loyal friends, and at times strangers. They are the ones who keep me sane in an insane career. One that is filled with rejection, no, and uncertainty. When I am onstage or involved in a project, I feel as if  am top of the world. But when I am waiting to hear news after a great callback or to simply hear if I scored the job that is when the darkness can come and find a place in your spirit. When bills are due I begin to doubt my abilities and talents and I wonder if this is really the pathway for me. At that moment, I reach over and grab my phone. Not to call and...