Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

Society continues to support individuals creating and sticking to deadlines for major life experiences. “I hope to be married by the time I reach 30.” I will have children by the time I am 25.” “I will find the job of my dreams 6 months after college.” “I will be debt free before 40.” I will never struggle like my parents.” I will score one national commercial and pay off everything.” And then you wake up and you quickly realize that life does not check-in according to the deadlines you established. In fact, you begin to wonder why you made them in the first place. As we make deadlines and then beat ourselves up when they do not come to fruition, we actually stop growing and learning. We stop looking at what is happening around us. For many of us, we end up in terribly ill-fitting relationships simply because we would rather make a deadline or not be alone as opposed to being with a person who is good for us. We continue to work dead end jobs in a state of misery because it fi...

Just recently, I have been blessed to experience what it feels like to see your face on TV. And I must say, that it is a wonderful feeling. All of those auditions, all of the rejections, all of those times that folks kept saying, "Are you still doing that acting thing?" So now what? Well just like my many friends and peers who are also in this crazy life we call "show bizness," I am still budgeting invisible money for my housing and bills. I am still waiting for auditions to come up. In fact, I am sure that I am headed to court this week for some other shit that comes with being broke and smart. Despite everything, I would not trade this life for any other. You know why? Because unlike many who live in fear of taking risk, I live with all of my fears on a daily basis. I drink them like smoothies before I go swimming and sleep with them like pillows each night. They stand next to me each time I look in the mirror and they have become friends.  Yes, friends. They en...

I just finished an amazing show and now I am once again unemployed and in that holding pattern I like to call, "Waiting for my next gig." During this time I used to get all stressed out and literally watch my locs fall to the floor. Thankfully, I have discovered other things to keep my mind off of the break and silence. Exercise and meditation is a great way to pass the time and refocus my energies into something more positive. It allows me to take a moment to be thankful for all my recent successes and to not constantly check my bank account wanting to leap off of a cliff. (And this time I have actually lost some weight and gained some new flexibility) Reconnecting with other fellow performers by sharing a meal, a drink, conversation, gossip, or all the above. Make sure you do not fill this time with emotional leeches or else you make still want to leap off of the proverbial cliff. Returning full time back to being an advocate for youth, public education, increased minim...

Well, I just survived another day after being on stage with an unruly group of 8th graders. And let me say this. I get it that actors have to supplement their income by any means necessary but days like this make me reconsider those pole dancing classes I nearly signed up for. Because, I have to make sure that my voice is in tip top shape for auditions, I refuse to yell and scream. Ever! In fact, once I got past Year 2 and vocal nodules as a full-time time public school teacher, I figured out more creative ways to command the attention of any classroom. And today was a testament to my ability to maintain my sanity and composure. Teacher is absent. Teacher leaves work. Students don't want to do work. You have no leverage to make them. Students try to break every rule known to man. Why??? Because they have a substitute. In the history of substitutes, this is a standard tradition. And each school has their own version of Napoleonic rules that make it nearly impossible to keep up. An...

As I sit here drinking Skinny Girl Margarita from a tea cup, I am reminded that I have experienced some interesting shade in this business that we call show business. Folks are quick to criticize you when you achieve some great things and then push you further down the hole when you are hanging on for dear life. You get a role and you feel amazing! Then you overhear someone or feel someone in the cast throwing you mad shade because they auditioned for the same role and did not get it. And in turn, they opted for a lesser role instead. If you are unhappy, please stop the shade. No one told you that you had to take something else. Either love where you are or keep it moving! I'm just saying. My other favorite as I sip on this lovely drink with all the alcohol but a fraction of the calories. You finally get cast as a day player or co-star in a series. And you are confident that this is one of many to come your way. But, you are not delusional enough to believe that you have arrive...

Single parents are often either dating, avoiding dating, or simply living life with all the beauty and freedom that being single offers. Enough of the BS! Let's talk about dating and these wonderful free sites like Tinder, Badoo and Pick Fish. Well...why not? I am not dead and I am about to have some free time so I dive in. You get on there and it is quite a ride. You select people from a picture and simply like or don't like them. No fee. No fuss. So now it is time to start. Of course, you get some free meals or a free movie. But, this is about those who made the highlight reel. I actually had one man get mad at me for swiping him because (his words), "Why would I want to date someone who has 4 kids?" Really?! It is a swipe not eharmony! And why are you on here if you don't expect folks to like you? Ugh! Or the best ones are those who immediately send you pics of their privates or of them with their children. Why am I meeting your entire family before we me...

On Tuesday, we lost Allen Barnes (or House as some called him). I literally met him on the dance floor. Spinning and rocking out to some of the best house music that any school party had to offer. Songs that literally spoke to his spirit and his heart, because he danced until the party ended and the dance floor was empty. Then I caught a glimpse of his art work. He was accepted to the Art Institute of Chicago, one of the best art schools in the country. But he found a home at Eastern Illinois University in Charleston, Illinois. There he spent nearly every summer between the semesters with his crazy and funny roommates and friends. His family who soon became an extension to my family. And that love and loyalty that still exists is indescribable. When we met I loved and encouraged his art. And he encouraged and supported me as a burgeoning artist. I helped him organize his first art showing and he helped me join my first band and applauded my first of many auditions. We always though...