Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

I wake to the news of a rally at the University of Virginia. The "Unite the Right" rally of white nationalists and other right-wing groups. All under the guise of protecting history. The chants included, "Blood and Soil" and "You will not replace us." Jason Kessler, an organizer of the rally had this to say, "We're going to start standing up for our history." And more importantly he does not consider himself to be a white nationalist. In February, the city voted to rename two parks and to remove other Confederate symbols. A move that is occurring across the South in response to the 2015 shooting at Mother Emanuel which took 9 lives. But, in Charlottsville, Virginia folks marched against such actions with torches (only the white hoods were missing). The mayor released the following statement describing the rally as a, "cowardly parade of hatred, bigotry, racism, and intolerance march down the lawns of the architect of our Bill of Rights...

Every now and then I have to evaluate if I am using my time wisely. Often I am guilty of signing up for another responsibility, another cause or another project. And then before I know it, I am dreading attending meetings or I book a show out of town which takes me out of the loop completely. This is when I have to decide what needs to be shed from my life. I have to decide what and who fits seamlessly into my single parent actress activist existence. Sometimes I receive support for my decisions and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I can have am honest conversation about why I did what I did, and sometimes I select to have a very filtered conversation. So thanks to my time in the Aspen mountain air, I just got rid of some more stuff. And it felt good and more importantly it felt necessary. Because I also forgot to mention that these moments are some of the few times that I make decisions just for me and for my soul. So yes, it always feels good and as I get older it happens more ofte...

In a few days, I will have a birthday. Another turn around the sun. Another year to live above ground. Each year, I take a look backwards in order to recognize where I am currently standing. In order to remind myself that it is better to live in the present and look to the future, then to dwell on the past. Often, we get mired down in the would've, could've and should've game. It is one that is usually fueled by fear and regret. The fear of actually letting go and simply letting life happen. And the regret that your life is not as good as your neighbors or a complete stranger who you have never met. Social media makes this game even more arduous because we get easily saddened and jealous when we look at the successful "Facebook lives" that scroll before us. How did that person every get all of the great stuff? They are not even good people. Why do I have to suffer endlessly? Blah Blah Blah Whine Whine Whine (cue) tears. When we are actually living these games ...

I am currently doing Hairspray in Aspen, Colorado. Each day and night, I am simply in awe of the clear sky, the beautiful mountains, and the star filled night. Not to mention the wonderful new friends I have made since being here. In other words, I am living my best life. While away, my daughter spent 8 beautiful days in Costa Rica. She saw jaguars, toucans, monkeys, and literally had a life changing experience. In other words, she is also living her best life. Soon she and my mother will be Baltimore to compete in the NAACP ACT-SO competition with her short story. There are moments that I truly wish that I could share this beautiful city with her and my mom, but due to timing and scheduling that will be impossible, this time. This artist life at times keeps you away from family and friends, and that is never easy. Now back to how I am living my best life. Walking everyday. No fast food. Movie nights. Laughter. Swimming. Mountain views. And most of all doing what I love, performi...

"How much of human life is lost in waiting?" Henry David Thoreau Today, this quote truly resonates with me. I have friends that are experiencing some life altering stuff at the moment, positive, negative, and challenging. I also just recently met someone during my stay here in Aspen just to discover that they died in a tragic accident just a few days ago. Life and Death.  I am reminded that we have to decide how we want to live our life. Do we want to wait until the right moment or should we risk everything just to find joy and contentment? How can we overcome obstacles and what should we do when we feel as if an avalanche of bullshit is attacking us at every turn? In the midst of each of these extremes, how can we choose the light? Even better, how can we find the light within us to shield away even the darkest of days? For some, the darkness represents a challenge of faith and test of our courage. For some, the darkness represents unresolved issues that need o...

I often ponder, what if I had done this? Or what if I had chosen this path instead? Why did I not stay with so and so? All of these questions are moot because life seldom hands us any mistakes. In fact, at times it may seem as if life is serving us a basket of bitter and tasteless apples, but in fact we are there at this time because it is necessary or we are supposed to be here. When I picked up and went to New York leaving my 3 year old daughter in Chicago, there were many naysayers and folks ready to judge my decision. In fact, I was ready and set to judge myself each and every step of the way. There is nothing harder than being separated from your child. I have ended relationships because I needed to do something drastic and necessary to stay on this path. I have jumped onto other paths to make other relationships work. All the time thinking that I was in control and in charge. The truth is that no matter how many times I have leaped or stopped or lost my way, the path forged b...

The audition hamster wheel can make you forget what you should be grateful for moment to moment. In a world that is centered on everything that is not important, it is easy to get selfish and let your ego dictate your perception. I just had a drink and a great conversation with a friend who reminded me that this constant practice can have one circling the drain if not careful. We spoke about the 4 agreements.  Be Impeccable with your Word Don't Take anything Personally Don't Make Assumptions Always Do your Best Now these may seem like easy and common sense things to do. But, when you are carrying fear and trauma that can be triggered at any moment, they are easier to read than to actually manifest. They are the mantra, I live by but I am also human and fall short at times. That is why the final agreement is sooo important. It is a restart. A reset button that reminds us that we have tomorrow or even the next hour to do better.  Another thing to add to that list ...