Who you really mad at?

While getting my hair cut the other day, I overheard a conversation. A guy believed his current girlfriend was cheating on him. Despite the fact that he doesn’t like labels anyway. And he is usually the side piece for a few women. He turned over a new leaf. He is now faithful and open about his emotions. But he is also mad that she doesn’t recognize that and appreciate all that he does for her. But he just wants her to be honest. Then it ended with him mentioning karma for all that he has done in the past. And he is mad about all of this. But, who is he really mad at?

Relationships, whether friendships, friends with benefits or actual serious partnerships, can be difficult. Mostly because we get mad about not making a decision. When you are faced with strife in a relationship often we let anger simmer because we never state to our partner or ourselves the truth about our actual feelings. If something is stressful outside of said relationship, that can result in horizontal anger. Meaning you take it out on someone because you can’t face the demon at work or wherever. So I ask again, who are you mad at?

Communication and honesty should not be a struggle. It should be simple, but it is not. Especially in the world of text messages and social media. No one speaks directly to anyone, they simply post a passive aggressive message on FB or even worse send a litany of text messages. All bad. Face to face is always best. Or walk away in silence. And trust me you will feel better for it.

There is always a good reason to be mad. There is also always a reason to be happy. There is a time to fight, a time to stay, and a time to walk away. You must choose or else you will make yourself crazy. If you are circling the drain of doubt and questions. Find the answers and then make a decision. But, don’t wallow in anger. Don’t search a person’s phone for evidence. Don’t jump out of the bushes. Don’t avoid it altogether by simply making the situation worse. Don't compare them to every other deadbeat you have dated. Just stop and make a decision. For you and your mental and emotional health. Because let’s face it, the only person we can ever control is ourselves.

Oh yeah, and since he asked. My advice to the guy in the barbershop was that maybe the lesson is that he is actually capable of caring for someone,  being emotionally open, and more than a side piece. And either you believe her or you don’t. Simple. And your decision.