Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

My daughter, Maya, is in her last year of high school. She has completed all of her college applications and so far has received acceptance letters for 4. As happy and proud as I am each time she receives a YES, I am reminded at how often she received a NO. And I often wonder if I was a parent who believed the system and the tests, and lowered my expectations for her, where would she be?  What would be her trajectory if NO had taken control? When Maya was 2 years old she was diagnosed with a severe receptive and expressive disorder, and speech therapy was prescribed, twice a week. At the time of her birth, I was on public assistance which meant Maya was placed under a medical microscope. A team of specialists entered my home and determined that she needed speech, but that there may be more issues down the line in regard to attention deficit or more. I decided to let the speech therapy happen but we continued to keep her at home instead of daycare, and that was the best decision f...

While getting my hair cut the other day, I overheard a conversation. A guy believed his current girlfriend was cheating on him. Despite the fact that he doesn’t like labels anyway. And he is usually the side piece for a few women. He turned over a new leaf. He is now faithful and open about his emotions. But he is also mad that she doesn’t recognize that and appreciate all that he does for her. But he just wants her to be honest. Then it ended with him mentioning karma for all that he has done in the past. And he is mad about all of this. But, who is he really mad at? Relationships, whether friendships, friends with benefits or actual serious partnerships, can be difficult. Mostly because we get mad about not making a decision. When you are faced with strife in a relationship often we let anger simmer because we never state to our partner or ourselves the truth about our actual feelings. If something is stressful outside of said relationship, that can result in horizontal anger. Mean...

This question along with, When you get your big break, make my ass hurt. It truly makes me want to slap the taste out of someone’s mouth. But more than that it’s disrespectful and rimmed with a level of ignorance. There are many levels to working in this business. You can be famous. You can have a list of  co-star one liners or a string of regional Theatre credits. You can be on Broadway. You can be a commercial principle or background. You can be a stand in for a series. And the star of your own YouTube channel or web series. All of these make you a working, hustling artist. So the next time someone tries to shoot you down because they simply do not get it or even worse they are jealous because they haven’t pursued their own dreams. Or even worse, they stopped believing in them altogether. Simply say, yes, I am a working actor who is grateful for all of my wins and opportunities. And most of all I am grateful that I will never give up.  And then turn on your heel and let th...

Today, I am sitting here thinking about a quote from an article featuring Viola Davis. "I get a gag order placed on me. They didn't want to see your liberation. They don't want to see your mess. They don't want to see you." And I realized that it took her to reach a certain point before she could admit these truths to the world and to herself. She also mentioned how much time had been wasted hiding behind people's expectations and by staying in a box. I say fuck that! Yesterday, I was reminded that my self worth is vital. It is important that I remember and acknowledge who I am to me. Not who I am because I have done this or because I know a certain person, and not even because I have this amount of education. I am important simply because, I am. Many of us need to be reminded of that so that we don't hand over our dreams to dream killers, and so we never forget who we are. Even when love has been stripped away and you feel a sense of darkness surround...

Lately, there has been a push for mental health in the Black community. This is not a trend. It’s not even a fancy hashtag. It is actually as important as what you put into your body and how you nurture your spirit. Unfortunately, the Black community has every right to distrust Western medicine. There is a historical legacy of abuse and testing on Black and Native bodies that predates slavery. And continued as late as the 1970s in our prison systems and local clinics. But, mental health issues like depression, PTSD, addiction, schizophrenia and more exist, and they often go undiagnosed in the same communities that have been abused. The question and dilemma is how do we seek therapies that will benefit us and actually help without being guinea pigs. First, I truly believe that the combination of western and eastern practices in our communities would be beneficial. Acupuncture along with traditional therapy can actually alleviate episodes of anxiety and stress related disorders. When y...

I attended a panel sponsored by Temple University Libraries titled, Art as Activism: Using Art in the Public Space to Send a Message.  And something that struck me, outside of the sheer brilliance of the artists who were taking over public spaces with or without permission to share work that makes a statement about politics, and where does one fit into the Philadelphia landscape. I also heard how many artists are not fully supported when they make the critical decision to actually do and pursue art from their families. And that is when I was reminded that most of us do not envision our children pursuing art for a living. It is not often considered a viable way to live or survive. And the term "starving artists" does not do much to help the image. Or that the entry into much of this is very competitive. Yet, without the presence of art in all of our lives much of what we experience or witness would be bleak and dreary. And if we do not continue to cultivate and support the d...

Yesterday, we lost one of the greatest voices to ever sing. Aretha Franklin could not only sing across all genres, she could also play the piano, and most of all she was a soul speaker, one who was there in your darkest hour and your highest triumph. And I must admit, I feel as my childhood continues to slip away into the death that awaits all of us. But, this is not a sad tribute, this is a celebration because one of daughter's favorite singers is the Queen herself, which means she lives on. Some of the first songs, I started humming in my grandmother's house was Chain of Fools, Respect and Precious Lord/Old Landmark from the live recording at her father's church in the heart of Detroit. Whenever I had my heart broken or my spirit crushed, I would turn to her records to soothe me back to my joy. Her voice rocked me to power and she would return the swagger to my step. She wore whatever she wanted and when she dropped that fur coat at the White House concert honoring Caro...