Every now and then I have to evaluate if I am using my time wisely. Often I am guilty of signing up for another responsibility, another cause or another project. And then before I know it, I am dreading attending meetings or I book a show out of town which takes me out of the loop completely. This is when I have to decide what needs to be shed from my life. I have to decide what and who fits seamlessly into my single parent actress activist existence. Sometimes I receive support for my decisions and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I can have am honest conversation about why I did what I did, and sometimes I select to have a very filtered conversation.
So thanks to my time in the Aspen mountain air, I just got rid of some more stuff. And it felt good and more importantly it felt necessary. Because I also forgot to mention that these moments are some of the few times that I make decisions just for me and for my soul. So yes, it always feels good and as I get older it happens more often and it gets even easier.
As artists we have to be ever aware that we include time to create. Time to be in the world that brings us breath and life. Because we have to bring that light to the work or else we can easily be swallowed whole.
What or who do you need to get rid of?
Monday, July 31, 2017
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Birthday Blessings
In a few days, I will have a birthday. Another turn around the sun. Another year to live above ground. Each year, I take a look backwards in order to recognize where I am currently standing. In order to remind myself that it is better to live in the present and look to the future, then to dwell on the past.
Often, we get mired down in the would've, could've and should've game. It is one that is usually fueled by fear and regret. The fear of actually letting go and simply letting life happen. And the regret that your life is not as good as your neighbors or a complete stranger who you have never met. Social media makes this game even more arduous because we get easily saddened and jealous when we look at the successful "Facebook lives" that scroll before us. How did that person every get all of the great stuff? They are not even good people. Why do I have to suffer endlessly? Blah Blah Blah Whine Whine Whine (cue) tears.
When we are actually living these games are seldom played. In fact, if you are truly focused on you and not on the weapons of mass destruction that surround us constantly, we don't have time to participate in such bullshit. We only have time to reflect on what has come to pass, observe where we are standing in the present, and plan for an even better future. We expect obstacles because life is never perfect, and we expect lessons because that is how we develop and grow.
So for those who continue to live with regret and fear, please know that only a little is a requirement for a better life. Fear protects us but too much of it can cripple us. Regret is a reminder of what and how we can do better, but too much can lead to psychosis and mental illness. Balance is the key. Learn what you need to learn and move on. And know that words matter. You can speak life or death into fruition so be mindful.
This new birthday season, I am grateful for the trials and blessings that the previous season has brought me. I am excited about what is just beyond the horizon, and I am prepared to welcome all of it with an open heart and a seeking soul. For those people and things that will no longer be a part of my life, I wish them well on their journey, and am grateful that they are no longer a part of mine. For the previous hurt and misunderstanding that I caused or that was handed to me, I cover them with words of forgiveness.
Today, and every day of this new season is new. I am always thankful for the family and friends that continue to be with me. Even when we chat once a month or once a year, I love it that we can simply pick up where we left off, without guilt or regret. For the students that I have had and for those who I have yet to encounter, know that love and light are always there for you even in the darkest of hours.
Each birthday is your New Year. And it should be celebrated and honored as such. It is a time to get rid of stuff and it is a time to plan for something new. It is also a time for spiritual calibration back to the Source. Thank you God for all that you have done and for all that you continue to do. Lift me up in your arms and remind me that I am love, spirit, truth, and passion. And for all that I am, and for all that I have yet to achieve, I say, Thank You.
Often, we get mired down in the would've, could've and should've game. It is one that is usually fueled by fear and regret. The fear of actually letting go and simply letting life happen. And the regret that your life is not as good as your neighbors or a complete stranger who you have never met. Social media makes this game even more arduous because we get easily saddened and jealous when we look at the successful "Facebook lives" that scroll before us. How did that person every get all of the great stuff? They are not even good people. Why do I have to suffer endlessly? Blah Blah Blah Whine Whine Whine (cue) tears.
When we are actually living these games are seldom played. In fact, if you are truly focused on you and not on the weapons of mass destruction that surround us constantly, we don't have time to participate in such bullshit. We only have time to reflect on what has come to pass, observe where we are standing in the present, and plan for an even better future. We expect obstacles because life is never perfect, and we expect lessons because that is how we develop and grow.
So for those who continue to live with regret and fear, please know that only a little is a requirement for a better life. Fear protects us but too much of it can cripple us. Regret is a reminder of what and how we can do better, but too much can lead to psychosis and mental illness. Balance is the key. Learn what you need to learn and move on. And know that words matter. You can speak life or death into fruition so be mindful.
This new birthday season, I am grateful for the trials and blessings that the previous season has brought me. I am excited about what is just beyond the horizon, and I am prepared to welcome all of it with an open heart and a seeking soul. For those people and things that will no longer be a part of my life, I wish them well on their journey, and am grateful that they are no longer a part of mine. For the previous hurt and misunderstanding that I caused or that was handed to me, I cover them with words of forgiveness.
Today, and every day of this new season is new. I am always thankful for the family and friends that continue to be with me. Even when we chat once a month or once a year, I love it that we can simply pick up where we left off, without guilt or regret. For the students that I have had and for those who I have yet to encounter, know that love and light are always there for you even in the darkest of hours.
Each birthday is your New Year. And it should be celebrated and honored as such. It is a time to get rid of stuff and it is a time to plan for something new. It is also a time for spiritual calibration back to the Source. Thank you God for all that you have done and for all that you continue to do. Lift me up in your arms and remind me that I am love, spirit, truth, and passion. And for all that I am, and for all that I have yet to achieve, I say, Thank You.
Monday, July 10, 2017
Living My Best Life
I am currently doing Hairspray in Aspen, Colorado. Each day and night, I am simply in awe of the clear sky, the beautiful mountains, and the star filled night. Not to mention the wonderful new friends I have made since being here. In other words, I am living my best life.
While away, my daughter spent 8 beautiful days in Costa Rica. She saw jaguars, toucans, monkeys, and literally had a life changing experience. In other words, she is also living her best life. Soon she and my mother will be Baltimore to compete in the NAACP ACT-SO competition with her short story.
There are moments that I truly wish that I could share this beautiful city with her and my mom, but due to timing and scheduling that will be impossible, this time. This artist life at times keeps you away from family and friends, and that is never easy.
Now back to how I am living my best life. Walking everyday. No fast food. Movie nights. Laughter. Swimming. Mountain views. And most of all doing what I love, performing.
Tomorrow when you wake make sure you live your best life. No matter what because you deserve it. And everyone around you will be happier too.
While away, my daughter spent 8 beautiful days in Costa Rica. She saw jaguars, toucans, monkeys, and literally had a life changing experience. In other words, she is also living her best life. Soon she and my mother will be Baltimore to compete in the NAACP ACT-SO competition with her short story.
There are moments that I truly wish that I could share this beautiful city with her and my mom, but due to timing and scheduling that will be impossible, this time. This artist life at times keeps you away from family and friends, and that is never easy.
Now back to how I am living my best life. Walking everyday. No fast food. Movie nights. Laughter. Swimming. Mountain views. And most of all doing what I love, performing.
Tomorrow when you wake make sure you live your best life. No matter what because you deserve it. And everyone around you will be happier too.
Choose and Live
"How much of human life is lost in waiting?" Henry David Thoreau
Today, this quote truly resonates with me. I have friends that are experiencing some life altering stuff at the moment, positive, negative, and challenging. I also just recently met someone during my stay here in Aspen just to discover that they died in a tragic accident just a few days ago. Life and Death.
I am reminded that we have to decide how we want to live our life. Do we want to wait until the right moment or should we risk everything just to find joy and contentment? How can we overcome obstacles and what should we do when we feel as if an avalanche of bullshit is attacking us at every turn? In the midst of each of these extremes, how can we choose the light? Even better, how can we find the light within us to shield away even the darkest of days?
For some, the darkness represents a challenge of faith and test of our courage. For some, the darkness represents unresolved issues that need our attention. And there is that darkness, that results from us being around toxic individuals who have lessons to learn, and their darkness spills over into our lives due to proximity. Each of these can create a chaos and at times it can feel as if it will never end or that we are being punished. Maybe we are simply being challenged to pay attention. Now to what can only be determined by what you have been ignoring in the first place.
This is when you choose life. Choose you. Choose love. Choose to push your faith towards a place of peace and calm. In other words, life should bring you more joy than pain. It should bring more laughter than tears. And when you look into a stranger's face, you should be able to share a story that brings smiles rather than nonchalance.
Keep the quote close to your heart. Let it resonate each time you make a decision. Should I be in this relationship? Should I take this job? Should I allow this new friendship/partnership? Should I participate in this new project? Each time you wake up, decide what you want and move towards that purpose. Life can be so much easier when you are not mired down with the false expectations of others, and when you can take a few seconds to not get bogged down in bitterness or regret. I believe that this life is only possible when you choose better. And that can only happen by living, through the good, bad and the ugly.
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