Lately, I have been back in the classroom, working with young people, or teaching adults who have been told constantly that (as a good friend said) "Their shit smells like vanilla." This is result of giving everyone a certificate at the end of the year. This is after years of no longer using red ink to correct papers because it causes some sort of psychotic break. This comes after watching lots of untalented people achieve 5 minute of stardom on reality television or simply being told that they were awesome when they are not.
I am writing this blog to inform and warn that this behavior and practice needs to cease and stop. If a child sings off key and is never corrected they should not be given a certificate that awards them for awesome singing. If a child is given an assignment and they continue to not submit it correctly even after several corrections they should get the appropriate grade to match their efforts and their progress. In other words, stop rewarding lemons for being lemonade! And stop celebrating mediocrity! When my daughter is singing her heart out in the car and she turns to me and asks how was that? Guess what? I tell her the truth. I suggest that she may want to use that diaphragm a bit more and watch her articulation. And guess what? She rewinds the track that she is listening too and begins to sing with great improvement.
And you know what? She is not damaged or upset. She wants and expects me to be honest. I am exhausted of providing correction to my students and watching them cringe or simply shut down because no one has even told them the truth.
Nothing worth achieving ever came easy. And if we continue to give everyone at the race, science fair, or art show a certificate for being there then how will they ever learn that greatness comes from hard work, error, correction, and the willingness to start over? It is the only thing we have left after years of forcing tests down our children's throats and after years of being afraid to tell them and their grown counterparts the truth. They deserve the truth and they deserve to be mentored in an honest way from those who have achieved excellence in their craft.
The last time I checked shit smells like shit. And the smell will not simply go away. You have to roll up your sleeves, clean the crap up, and replace it with something better. You can never be better if you have no idea that you completely fucked up!
Many of greatest goals became a reality because someone told me no or gave me honest (hard to hear) feedback.
GIRL! you went balls out on this one! But very true!!! We cannot raise ultra-sensitive human beings who are too afraid to hear the truth and too afraid to get back in the game! Rewarding mediocrity is not doing any favors for our children. Rewarding passion, persistence, excellence and the sheer will to just put forth some effort is what we should be doing. The world is not a kind place (truth be told) and if our children are not equipped to deal with those realities, they will be doomed.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of smells, kids can smell it if you like them and if they trust you care, they can take a lot of constructive feedback. That has been my experience working with kids for years. They appreciate an authentic, trusting relationship with a caring adult.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tamara. You are always right on target, and very entertaining too!!!