Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

Some of us are simply soul sucking individuals. You know that one friend who you need to have a drink before you hang out. And then burn sage and light candles once they leave. The same one who seems to never be happy no matter the small and large blessings circling at their feet. Now, I know that life can at times bring you to the brink of madness. But, damn, living in that misery may not be the best option. And somehow they seek me out like a beacon. Now I don't mind a friend who needs to vent. Shit, we all need that from time to time. Every time you see them everything in the world is horrible and there is nothing to smile about. I am literally talking about that person who has been working at the same place for 100 years and is ALWAYS unhappy there! They hate it! They want to leave! But somehow, they never get the gumption or a plan to get to moving on. Face it. After awhile you simply have to just find some joy in something or else. Or even worse, the person who has it go...

When I was small, I stayed in the kitchen with my grandma. She was always cooking and it is where I learned. I helped her grate cheese. I chopped onions and I sliced tomatoes. I even helped her pick grapes for homemade wine.  When everyone else simply came to the table when it was time to eat, I was learning how to make magic happen. Now I watch my daughter chop onions, scoop out avocados and chop cilantro for her yummy guacamole. Or season eggs or make cookies from scratch. She even helps with my famous gumbo. The more special moments are cooking side by side like tonight. I was prepping pork for a crock pot stew as she was making lunch. She is chopping and I am braising. She is seasoning and I'm combining. We are talking and she is asking questions about life. And I am reminded how traditions never die and how much I miss my grandma. But how much Maya reminds me of her. And how precious time is. Cooking with Maya is always a great night and I am grateful for them.

There are times as artists we are challenged to take a leap of faith. Now you may say, anyone who chooses to pursue this crazy life with no security, pension, feedback, and lots of stress must already be ready to take a leap. But there are moments when life happens. There are moments when an avalanche of chaos falls all over you and you cannot simply see past the obstacles and the shit. You are so blinded by disappointment and despair that you simply want to go back to sleep and pretend that you will wake up to a better life. And then you wake up to even more stuff. If you are as single parent like me, this stuff can come in the form of believing that you are dragging your children or child into this unknown artist life without any safety net and then you are instantly overcome with shame and guilt. Or even worse you are surrounded by the unwelcome death of a loved one. Then the questions and worry start. Maybe you should go back to that dead end job? Maybe you should apply for somet...

The beauty of having a director is that he or she will let you know what they are looking for by giving you direction and guidance. There is a hidden rule that no actor should give another actor a note. Or even worse, ask their fellow actor to try something that the director did not ask them to do. You can have a discussion about character and motivation, but if the director asks you to say the line with more attitude and then look left, then you better do just that. If something makes your line delivery odd, then get over it, figure it out,  or ask a question to the director. Not to the other actor. Listen to what is being said to everyone else. Just because you are not the focus, you can learn a bit about the scene by listening to what other directions are. You can confirm if your initial instincts are valid. And I realize that some classes and workshops will drive home the fact that no one cares about your training or which theater you worked at or if you ever did theater. B...