Viola Davis' Inspiration for us all

"The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there." Viola Davis, Best Actress Emmy 2015

Last, night Viola Davis won the coveted Emmy for Best Actress. She is the first African American actress to ever win such an honor. And yes, this is 2015. In fact, last night was a history of firsts. 3 Black actresses took home an Emmy in 3 separate categories. It was a time for celebration, yet my heart was saddened by the shade and disdain that covered the faces of the audience members, and I realized that Ms. Davis' words were not expected and the sentiment was not wide spread. And that we have such a long way to go still until all women of color are represented (Indigenous Americans, African Americans, West Indians, Africans, Asians, and Latino/Hispanics)

This is when I realized that her words are a lightening rod for all Black women of color in this business that we call show bizness. We need to continue to share our stories, produce new projects, direct, and hold each other up in high esteem and love. We need to work together in order to create a myriad of opportunities. More chances for the current and future generations to see themselves on the television and stage. It is vital that we swarm the Internet with original web series programming and that we throw our dollars towards any of our fellow sisters trying to get a project off the ground. Because something that was apparent last night and at every award show, are the teams of people who get project after project done who do not look like us.

Instead of throwing shade at what she said, writing nasty Tweets, maybe the architects of white Hollywood can open both doors as opposed to allowing us to squeeze thru the cracks. Because new stories are necessary to keep the life blood of entertainment flowing. And most of us would like for it to look exactly the way society looks, gritty, multi-hued, flawed, witty, intelligent, desperate, beautiful, and everything in between.

So I raise a glass to my sisters and applaud you for your ability to push the envelope and to penetrate the cracks and crevices with your solo shows, your original music, your production companies, your new scripts, your new musicals, and the tenacity to not simply wait for a door to open because you are fearless enough to knock it down kicking and screaming. Let's do this!

This dating life....

As a single parent actress, dating and being in a relationship are something that I dabble in every now and then. At times, you meet a person who really excites you and then you quickly realize it was all potential and very little reality in the picture. There are other moments that someone sweeps you off your feet and treats you like a partner just to drift away or even worse rob you blind of your sanity and funds, which at first you were sharing equally (funny how that quickly turns around).  Then there are times that someone re-enters your life with a promise and a dream, but they are not quite in the position to make it a reality. Yet, when you are bright enough to realize that and break it off or simply return to the friendship zone, you are cut off.  And all of this makes me simply want to leave dating and relationships alone because it is exhausting trying to take care of someone's feelings when they don't actually give a rats ass about yours.

Now this may sound like some bitter rant, but it is not. It is simply an observation. An observation collected from much experience, good and bad. Because let's face it even the good ones only lasted for a few years and ended badly or neutrally. I sit with successful couples and often notice how they communicate, how they take care of each other, or simply how they simply aware of what makes the other person tick. They have vested time in knowing and that is why they are still together even through the storms. Because it is through the storm, that reveals a person's truth, their purpose, their actual reason for being with the other person in the first place.

And being independent is overrated because I swear that potential suitors take that as a sign that you don't need or desire anything. I am also not interested in any projects. I am interested in supporting your ideas and plans, but not being the one to make them come to fruition.  And I am concerned, when you are not quite sure what you want to be when you grow up and you are already 40 or 50. 

And when you have a child or children, you have already been to the circus and back. So there is no need for pretense or fairy tail myths. You are ready to deal in reality. Just not one where I am at the bottom of the pile or someone you are just seeing for now. So if you want to step to me or you see me running in the opposite direction, just know that I have seen your truth, and I am certain that I don't want any part of it. But, I am always willing to take a chance. Because, the shenanigans that usually follows always make great material for the stage or screen. 

Sometimes you just need a callback

You know the drill. You enter the audition space and you slay it! You take over the room and you have a great time. The director strikes up a conversation with you, and the casting agent asks if you would be available the next day IF they called you back. And you walk out of the room elated just knowing that you will be there tomorrow. Then you come home and sit and wait. And wait. And wait. And nothing.

So after years of doing this, why did this rejection make me eat an entire bowl of vanilla ice cream with two chocolate chunk cookies? Rejection and no response is what comes with this life. It is always there. This one hurt because I simply needed confirmation that I am on the right path. Because lately, I have not been so sure. I have confided in a few friends, but this blog is the place where I am the most honest and the most transparent. I share because I know that I am not alone. This actor’s life is not for the meek and it comes with no guarantees. And when you are stretching chicken curry beyond a few days for your family because you have to make sure you have enough to make the trips to New York City, it can become nearly impossible to keep your head up.

But today, I helped a friend prepare a few audition self-tapes and I felt rejuvenated through his experience. The excitement of the, “What if” and “What’s next.”  And then I scheduled some appointments so that I can get a few independent projects finally off of the back burner and into fruition. After a sugar coma, I awoke to realizing that I can wait to be selected or I can choose myself and share my brand with the world. I can wait or I can do. That is always the solution to the audition-callback-book the job rumba. Or else you can seep into your pity party until one day, you cannot find the strength or reason to climb out. And today is not that day.