Monday, September 30, 2013

How faith gets you to What's Next

As I sit here always on the cliff between unemployment and what I love, I wonder and worry. This is when I write and pray. Yes. Pray. Many young artists enter this business with little to no spiritual foundation. You will crumble without it. Spirituality can exist without religious affiliation and without a belief in a higher power. Personally, my firm belief in both is what helps me stay the course. Because I have seen the impossible time and time again.

This is a marathon not a race. At times you have great bursts of continuous success followed by a fucking desert. You do not wait to take care of your body, mind, heart, and spirit when everything is terrible. You must develop it on a minute to minute basis so that when the rough times hit you are prepared. I often look at my daughter and wonder if I am choosing correctly. Are my decisions selfish? Are my decisions self-centered? Should I throw it all in and move back to the house that I own as opposed to renting from charlatans? Should I stop balancing the same $5.00 pretending that it is $20? In this time of darkness and doubt, my faith and belief in my talents is all I have to lean on. And guess what? It is enough.

The life of a single parent actress does not look like American Idol, The Voice, America's Got Talent, or a reality show. It looks like hills and valleys overlooking a beautiful ocean. I can look back and smile and revel in the gifts that God continues to give. I can also look forward and see nothing but I tall, insurmountable mountain, and know that when I get to the top the sun will be there waiting for me before I slip into another valley. The journey to the top is an interesting one. Makes you relish the process.  The prize is not out there, the prize is inside. The prize is not how many accolades I collect. The prize is knowing that I never quit. Even when my finances appeared to be non-existent or horrific. I continue to walk forward knowing full well that I am stepping closer to a place that is perfect for me. A role, a song, a story, an original something with my name written all over it waiting for me to claim it at the right time. And yes, I need representation to replace the ones that the Booms took away. And yes, it will happen.

I look at my daughter and know that I am  a living example of what it means to never give up. That will always be enough even when I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I hear her say, "Hey mommy. I want to be a writer, travel to Japan and study art, and an opera singer. Do you think I can do that?"

Yes! Yes! Yes!


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Breaking all the rules in Education - Philadelphia

My first teaching position in Philadelphia was at a charter school. A few years ago, the founders of it were charged with 29 counts of fraud and misuse of approximately $825,000. But, before that I worked for them as a 9th grade English teacher. My initial contract was exactly $1,000 less than my first Chicago Public School's contract when I only had a Bachelors degree and no experience. I forgot to mention that I worked for CPS nearly 11 years previous and at this time had a graduate degree in Education. Since this also came along near the first Boom, I signed the contract and started teaching.

It was a project based curriculum inspired by a student centered ideology, but was mired in disorganization and a lack of continuity. In order to survive I had to observe what worked and what did not, then I went into my teacher lab and wrote a curriculum that would address the observed needs of the students and teach them some valuable skills. There also was a great need for structure and discipline. When I arrived there was no clear consequences for disruptive behavior. All of my classes brainstormed a set of rules and consequences. Contracts were drawn up (signed by  teachers and students) and a lunch detention was established for the entire 9th grade to utilize. I agreed to be in charge of lunch detention and after a few months of consistency we began to see small subtle changes towards more productive behaviors.

Then I asked the 9th grade teachers if we could meet in order to make the projects more connected and to provide support for our individual subjects. If we could work more as a team than the students would develop more cohesive relationships (prayerfully). Now, I helped all of the students prepare papers for English, Science, Computers, and Math. The computer teacher helped all of the students prepare visuals or PSA's (public service announcements) for long range projects.

The students created an online magazine/newspaper called Bananaz. It featured original poetry and reporting on school events and issues completed by the students. I even taught a dance for some of my 9th grade students to perform at the talent show. I even planned and researched a walking tour of historic Mt. Airy and West Oak Lane. Now, I know all about schist. Soon the school stopped contributing to PSER's and I could see the handcuffs in the future. So I quickly made an exit at the end of my first year and started teaching at a second charter school.

This one challenged me because many of the students had been there since 2nd or 3rd grade and now they were in 11th grade completely ill-equipped to matriculate into college. When I gave a survey to all 75 students to find out how many novels they had read based on the 125 suggested books listed on the Pennsylvania Board of Education web site, only about 5 or 6 had been read! The CAO believed that the students should all be taught in a certain way and did not take kindly to doing something different. She did not believe or agree with years of research that proved her methods completely wrong for middle and high school students. Hence, a decision had to be made. I decided to break the rules and format. I took a chance and could have been fired since charter school contracts can fire you with only a 2 week notice, but you have to provide a 30 day notice if you leave.

I ordered novels, the students were given more than the suggested hour of homework each night, weekly assessments were developed, and midterms and finals were created across all subjects. Similar to what students receive in the suburbs. We started with the word aardvark in the dictionary along with Greek and Latin roots. By the end of the year the students had acquired and mastered over 400 new vocabulary words and were able to write a few literary analysis as opposed to the book reports that were taught before.  I encouraged them to take the SAT and ACT in order to have time for re-takes if needed. In order for this to work, I had to convince the students that this way worked. I had to convince them that if they told on me because the work was too hard, I was willing to be let go because their educational future was more important. The expectations were high, and because I was unable to give failing grades (Yeah, the lowest grade on the computer was a C-), I had to make sure that they regulated themselves. I was even responsible for junior prom. Out of 4 teachers, I planned and executed the event ALL ALONE.

About 3/4 of my students found an internship or summer experience through research and completing applications/recommendations during class. Many of them discovered their college majors as a result of these experiences. I even sent 7 students to participate in free student documentary training program at Scribes in West Philadelphia. We worked on college essays so that they would be ready to go for 12th grade. Two of my female students were the recipients of a scholarship that paid their full ride for an international tour of colleges that included Disney Paris and Oxford. It was a memorable week that they shared with the class. Whatever I found I passed it immediately to the students. I actively updated some of my IEP's for my special education students in order for them to reflect their growth as opposed to stagnation. My relationship with the counselor provided even more opportunities. Once again, I felt the future of handcuffs and the immoral grading was soon too much.

Once I started working for Philadelphia School District, I signed up to participate in the Summer Institute sponsored by the Philadelphia Writing Project housed at University of Pennsylvania. This experience reactivated my sense of teacher led research. And how writing is the key to cross-curricular connections and higher student engagement. I felt even more ready for my 9th grade teaching experience. Then something happened that I will never forget.


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Breaking the rules of Education - New York

I planned on sleeping on my friend's floor thanks to my amazing air mattress. My life in New York City began at a job fair for prospective teachers to work for the New York Board of Education. I met with a few principals and quickly received 2 job offers. One was to be a Dean of Students for a middle school in Crown Heights. The other was for a 7th grade Language Arts position in Bedford Stuyvesant. The school in Bedstuy was housed on the second floor of an elementary school. This is a result of the school within a school plan that Chancellor Klein supported to maximize space. Imagine two separate schools with separate staff residing in the same building. I will let that resonate because you had to see it to believe it.

During the first week of professional development all of the Language Arts teachers were introduced to a new writing program, which held some merit but also lessened grammatical structure. Students with very little grammar foundation will not simply become better writers without being exposed to the rules more  than once. One great aspect of the program were the sheer numbers of available literature for students to read. We were able to have some great book circles and I was able to offer lots of variety in reading materials.

So then what was the problem? The principal consistently wanted me to add more decorations in my class to motivate the students. He believed that simply posting their work was not enough. My room needed color and pizazz. He asked me to go and view a 6th grade classroom for ideas. Well you probably can guess how that went. I found a poster and threw all of that pizazz on one wall.

I did hire some local artists to work with all of the students in dance and drama at a reasonable rate through a not for profit that I was associated with. This resulted in a great after school program, and an even better showcase. More on that later. Within weeks of working, I forged other relationships with local artists and producers. This led to some amazing bi-monthly field trips. I attended a panel discussion sponsored by the New York Musical Festival. I asked producers how did they reach out to schools that could not afford ticket prices. One of them responded by giving us Off Broadway tickets to a great musical for a mere $10 per ticket. Do you think this was enough to get me off the hook for the classroom decorations? Of course not.

I worked with the social studies teacher and we created cross-curricular lessons across both subjects in order to increase critical thinking, reading, and writing. We even created combined assessments. I scheduled a Harlem Renaissance tour that had the most mediocre tour guide. The students ended up leading the tour as he sat back in awe and embarrassment. We even had a great meal at this delicious soul food restaurant on Lenox and 116th. (Amy Ruths - yummy) The best aspect of taking students on outing sin NYC is that they always take public transportation. One of the traditions of the middle school is that students were expected to walk in clear orderly lines and bring a chapter book with them during travel. This structure worked! Loved it!

Lastly, one of the most amazing women who worked at any school gave my classes the opportunity to create a showcase in celebration of Black History Month. And boy did they create! We pushed the desks and chairs to the side and merged Language Arts with music and dance. The students did a tribute to Ray Charles, spirituals, African/Caribbean dance, poetry and tap. Yes, we broke the rules! So what! Education is more than just sitting in a seat and passing a standardized test. Imagine that! Most affluent school districts do.

Speaking of tests. Remember the decorations and the lack of them in my classroom. Remember the 6th grade classroom that had ALL the awesome pizzazz. Well at the end of the year when the state scores came back. Guess which grade and teacher showed significant growth? I knew that poster of Garfield would be enough.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Breaking the rules of education in Chicago - Next stop, NYC

Chicago

Remember that school on the West side of Chicago. The one with the abandoned section. Well that school turned out to be one of my three favorite teaching experiences. After the first year, the art department produced several student showcases throughout the year. It always included dance (modern, jazz, hip-hop, and even swing), music, and theater. One year, I wrote this play titled, What if Black History Month was outlawed? It featured a Jackson 5 medley, a speech by Malcolm X, a reading of the Letter from Birmingham, and a grandmother convincing her two grandchildren why Black history was so important. The students began to create original pieces and we always scheduled field trips for them to see professional performances.

During my time there, we developed a partnership with Goodman Theater, the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, and the Art Institute, and 2 other public schools funded by an Annenberg Grant. One of the many projects included an adult community production of the Colored Museum. The entire backstage crew was comprised of students ranging in age from 10 to 13. They ran the show seamlessly with little to no assistance. Every Saturday, the school sponsored Family Day. Any student could attend as long as a parent or guardian came too. It included lunch and tickets to a local professional show (Amistad at the Lyric Opera of Chicago and The Nutcracker at the Joffrey Ballet). One year, a small group of students were taught an actual ballet by professional company members of the Joffrey Ballet. Most of these programs cost the school nothing. Many were a result of relationships I continued to forge in the local art community. I am always amazed at the generosity of strangers when children are involved. I remember writing a letter to Leo Dancewear and receiving several pairs of brand new and gently used tap shoes for my students. Yes, I taught tap, jazz, African dance, hip-hop, and some ballroom dance. I had some hoofers! These classes were a part of the regular school day. Additionally, there were after-school classes too. It provided structure and discipline in a creative atmosphere. And some of my former students will tell you, I had no problem dismissing you from a show, dance, or class. I taught the courses and worked with the other art teachers as if the students were planning on pursuing this as a career. It was the way I was taught and I continued the tradition (Think of the opening scene in Fame. Well Fame costs! Had nothing on me). A few of the students attended professional auditions and dance competitions. One landed a feature role in a major motion picture.  A few others landed roles in local theaters.

Some of my students attended sleep overs hosted by me. (I know. All kinds of legal rules were broken. But long lasting relationships were developed) For some, this was the first time they sampled salmon croquet and home cooking without having to be responsible for smaller siblings. They were able and allowed to have fun as children. And we had a blast!

We even had holiday parties with the staff and families. Yes, we would bring food and play music. It created a trust between the community and the staff that I have not experienced since. 

At long last,  the abandoned section was completely refurbished and gave us an auditorium to share with a charter school that rented the other half of the building. I even worked with some of their students providing an art experience.

This worked because the administration and the teachers fully supported the arts at the school. It worked because outside professional organizations provided funding and support. It worked because no one ever told me that I could not be a professional artist and a teacher at the same time. It worked because the students were expected to be amazing, and they were. It quickly ended when administration changed and personalities clashed. Boom! I had to leave.

Why I finally paid SAG? (with assistance)

I sent my head shots and resumes out to local agents to gain new representation since I no longer have any in NYC. I am teaching at a local charter school. (5 years later two of the founders were sentenced to 29 counts of fraud and misuse of approximately $825,000) Yes, they gave me a job. I never felt so honored. This is the same place that paid me pennies (One more reason why unions are important). But, I digress.

A few months after, I finally am connected with a new agent. Without an office visit, she arranges for me to be seen by the local casting agents. Shortly after those auditions are completed, I get an audition for a new M.Night film (The Happening). I go in and get callback. Woohoo! Then I got an email that the callback needed to be rescheduled. Now I may have to call in sick on another day. Then something happened that never happened before. The casting director simply booked me for the gig based on my first audition. I never felt so good! I was excited. Until, Boom!

"Did you pay your initiation fees for SAG after your first film?"

"Of course not."

"Well those must be paid before you shoot the film"

"Okay"

Let me explain why I let this go for 4 years. In some states, you can claim Taft Hartley. It simply allows you to take a SAG (Screen Actors Guild - union for film/TV actors) job and pay your initiation fees after. It is a great way to let the project pay for the dues. And you are even allowed to collect residuals from the project, quarterly payments made to the actor based on ticket sales, DVD sales, cable views, and regular television.  Except, I did not do that. I continued to collect residuals and take full advantage of SAG without paying one red cent. Don't judge me. I had just moved to NYC after completing Barber Shop 2. I needed every earned and residual penny.

So, I called SAG and asked for the current cost. At the time, it was $1500. Of course, I have that in my back pocket. It needed to be paid in 7 days. Now, the sad part is I could have paid the fee when it was only $800, 4 years ago. The residuals alone could have paid it within months after Barber Shop 2 was released. But, I did not do that. This is a lesson for those who get a lump sum of money from a project and forget about being responsible and saving. Thankfully, I had some assistance. The fee was paid. I shot the film and my scene got cut. A real scene with more than 1 line. Dagnabit!

I have been paying dues regularly ever since because I never want to be in that position again. You never know.

That's show biz! One more example of why all artists need someone in their corner for support. I am definitely not an island.I also learned how to be way more fiscally conscious. Well, mostly.


Monday, September 9, 2013

My life as an educator - The Beginning

After graduation in 1996, I worked for Chicago Public Schools as a 6th grade Language Arts/Social Studies teacher at Disney Magnet School. It was a school with open walls. Each floor had several pods with 6 "classroom" sections with open space in the center for combined activities. There was also an actual room if needed in each pod. This experience proved to be a great training ground for me as a first year teacher. I was mentored simply by the fact that I could easily observe veteran educators in our open space. We worked like a team. If any of us were sick or at loss for a lesson, someone was always there to support us. I wish that more teachers had this opportunity to not feel isolated or unprepared.

After this first year, I was selected to relocate to be a part of a team to go into the second lowest school in the city to provide a comprehensive art program. The principal heading this effort asked me to go and see the neighborhood, but to not go at night. Really?! Of course, I went in the dead of the night and observed young children walking the streets late at night and interesting characters gracing the corner. Welcome to the West side of Chicago. Of course, I accepted the position. Why? I wanted to re-connect with theater and dance outside of attending auditions or singing in a band.

Let me describe Howland School of the Arts. There were still rotary phones in the office in 1997. They had old desktop computers with dust. There was an abandoned section of the school that had been boarded up and cut off from the rest of the students. If you listened at the wall, I swear you could hear the rodents that had made their home in the abandoned section. The classrooms had hard wood floors with circles from old permanent desks that had since been removed. When you raised the windows it opened far enough that an adult and a child could topple right onto the street. (very tempting at times) It was so old that a film wanted to use the school as is because it looked like an elementary school version of Lean on Me.

The new staff had to merge with the staff. It was difficult at first because the entire school had been abandoned and addled with poor leadership. This resulted in low morale, poor student achievement, and a steady decrease in the arts. Soon, we were all in accord to work towards the re-building of a school with great possibilities. We all agree that the children deserved nothing less from us.

This began a journey that I will never forget. It was the first time that both of my pathways seamlessly connected and merged together.

And then the possible became possible. (I know, I still have not shared what happened 6 months after I started teaching in Philly. Stay tuned)

Friday, September 6, 2013

Hello City of Brotherly Love



At times we make decisions with our heart and believe that it is what we truly want. So we take a leap. Before the show in New Hampshire, I started dating someone new. He was nice, supportive, and most importantly loved my daughter. After Yellowman, we all moved in together. Then I had to figure out where Maya should attend school. I settled on a local neighborhood Catholic School. To say that she found the adjustment difficult is putting it mildly. She continued to battle with her expressive and receptive speech disorder, while trying to figure out social norms. At the same time I was  trying to figure out why I had landed in Philly. I felt very isolated and unable to move forward. I wanted to get to Jersey so that I could be closer to NYC. I tried to schedule auditions locally and in NYC. But each time I attempted, Maya needed me more and more.

She needed to know that I would not leave. She needed to know more structure. She also needed me to be in her corner with little to no distraction. 

The reason why there are not many details about the relationship is because this is not a relationship blog. This is about the decisions that were made as I attempted to be a better mother and find my way. And sometimes we meet individuals who are simply a part of the journey. And I had to navigate more Booms. 

Boom! I can no longer go out of town for work. Boom Boom! We need to get our own place. Boom Boom Boom! I may need to get a real job since my agent decided to not assist me during this transition.

I quickly realized that once your heart starts something, your sheer will and faith have to finish it. No matter the fact that I held 2 degrees, jobs continued to be elusive. This led to more financial stress. When I went to the School District of Philadelphia, they informed me that non-certified teachers earned $40 per day. (I laughed out loud too) I started the process of getting a teaching certificate in Pennsylvania. Thank goodness I found a company that hired substitute teachers for charter schools and paid $120 per day. Thank goodness I taught theater for grades 4 and 5 in West Philly. It was arduous and costly. As I finished the certification process, I finally got a call for an interview at a new charter school and that gave me the necessary funds to relocate. The pay was exactly $5,000 more than my first teacher salary in 1996. Boom!

I became the 9th Grade English teacher. I quickly switched gears and settled into this new part of my life. I love all aspects of English especially literature and writing. It was important that each of my students understood how to write and express themselves. I pushed them to analyze characters and themes, but I also pushed their creativity. I wanted them to develop a love for reading and the belief that they could do anything they put their mind to.

Yes. I left one path and re-discovered one that I had been on before. But, I still mailed headshots and resumes in order to find a local agent. And 6 months later...

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Yellowman Experience continued - Where are rich roles for Black females?



First, let me say that rich, meaningful, and three-dimensional roles specifically written for black females is rare. If I ask you to name some 3-dimensinal roles that did not celebrate a stereotype, you may stop after five fingers. And don't count Black musicals written by Black writers and musicians, you will fall short (Dreamgirls and Once on this Island don't count)

They always tell us in actor school 102 that we should identify our type and make sure that we play to it when we approach auditions and career planning. I fully realize that I have a type and what it is. I am the sassy, funny, full - figured, black woman. Who just happens to be well versed in Shakespeare and the other emotions that exist. The last time I was moved in live theater or at a movie, it was because I just saw an amazing story where the characters spoke to my humanity and soul. Not because I saw a type in front of me.

And there are black playwrights writing interestingly rich characters, but their shows do not make the mainstream and at times do not elevate beyond a reading. Hence, an artistic desert exists for black female actresses. 

When I first read  Yellowman, the first thing that struck me was the power and beauty of the language. "There's a fluidity to the heat in South Carolina/watching certain objects - maybe certain fields of cotton, corn, tobacco/there seems to be some sort of rippling effect. My mother/women like my mother and her mother before her talked about the sun..." (Dael Orlandersmith, Alma). This story has layers and each of the characters bring with them a rich detailed history. Alcoholism, abuse, color caste systems, class, and self-loathing are just a few of the themes. It is an artist's playground.

The play is a cast of two who remain on stage the entire time. We decided to perform without an intermission. What a ride! As the director began to pull each of us out of our comfort zone and deeper into the world of Yellowman, I remembered why I became an actress in the first place. To live and breathe a story on stage for others.

And yes, the words were our guide. We discovered humor, sexuality, conflict, love and redemption. I was allowed to become full bodied on stage, and me and my fellow actor on stage fully supported one another. It was organic and freeing. I did not want it to end. I cannot say that for many projects.
When I see revivals of Raisin in the Sun or August Wilson, I often wonder when will an opportunity like the one I had playing Alma come along again. Something richly scripted, and one that deeply exposes an aspect of Black life. I wonder why it is so difficult to find a comedic monologue from an upcoming Black writer. Thanks to my network of fellow artists, I can locate them. But, I should find the information in the mainstream theater world too.




Maybe the problem is that Black stories are not considered American stories. So they are not always deemed important or relevant. But, they are THE American story. And I want to see more. And I know that I am not the only one.