Disappointment and Liberation

I have realized that I am way too nice and accommodating. I have expectations when it comes to friends and family. Mostly I expect them to keep their word and be honest. But, that may be difficult when you have allowed your active imagination to make them into something they never have been.

Let me explain,

I have friends who list all of my accolades and pat my back, but fail to call me on my shit when it is needed. These are not friends, these are cheerleaders. I have friends who express love from their mouths, but never through their intentions or actions. These are not friends these are simply mouthpieces. You know the ones who would never know if you died unless it was posted on FB because they never keep their promise to call you back. I have friends who can't wait to walk down the red carpet with me, but are the first to question or patronize the choices I have to make to get there. These are not friends these or well wishers hoping to catch a chance of standing with you in the sun. I have friends who only call when their life is imploding, but are nowhere to be found when you hit rock bottom nor do they provide a shoulder for you to cry on. These are not friends, these are emotional leeches. And the list does not stop there, but you get the point.

I have realized that the disappointment that I have felt and continue to experience at the hands of these charlatans is my own fault. And it is time to release them. I shed a few friends each year. Shit, to be truthful, I shed them each quarter because shit happens. And when you wake up from your imagination the truth can hurt your eyes since you have been in the dark for so long.

Maya Angelou's words always ring true, "When people show you who they are the first time believe them." When someone continues to skip out on the bill, do not expect something different the next time. When someone is genuinely unhappy when you are happy, you may have to limit that contact in order to maintain your joy. When someone cannot commit to see you in the flesh or pick up the phone (texting does not count) because life happens or they are too busy, that is okay too. That is God's way of keeping ten out of your life and you are simply too hardheaded to heed the signs.

I am too smart, beautiful, nice, accommodating, and yes, I prefer the high road to cussing you out in public, and none of that makes me weak or deserving of BS. It makes me simply not give a flying fuck. And that is liberating.

Exit Strategy

I attended a matinee production of Exit Strategy at Philadelphia Theatre Company. The show is written by Ike Holter and directed by Kip Fagan. It was first produced in Chicago by the Jackalope Theatre Company in 2014.

The backdrop is Chicago and more importantly Chicago Public Schools, which have been shuttering schools at alarming rates since 2010. The Chicago Teachers Union went on strike in 2012 for the first time in 25 years. Hundreds of layoffs and charterization makes up the environment that exists in Exit Strategy.

The play opens up with a conversation between a naive administrator and a veteran teacher. What happens shortly after their conversation defines the rest of the script and provides the first example of what an actual exit strategy may look like. All of the actors provide strong performances, but the stand out performances are Christina Nieves (Jania), Deidre Madigan (Pam), Michael Cullen (Arnold) and Brandon J. Pierce (Donnie). Each of the characters have a natural opposing character that exists within the context of the script except for the Black female teacher. Sadie stands alone, and that just makes her struggles as a teacher who is positioned to replace an older teacher even more painful to observe.

The small cast represents the diverse cast of characters that can make up a school that is under attack. You eventually lose hope in the midst of the fight when you realize that the powers that be will have their way no matter what. Donnie's response to Ricky captures the trauma and resilience that it takes to survive in an urban public school setting as he describes being parceled out pieces of toilet tissue since the first grade. It is this reason alone that Donnie is the heart and conscience of the script. Items that most of us take for granted are not promised.

The script is not perfect, in fact it is a bit messy because not all of the characters are fully realized, which can easily lead to stereotyping if not careful. Most of the actors solve that in their execution. But, I fear some nuances and truths may be misconstrued by an audience not fully versed in the history or current landscape of public education. The truth is that public education is under systemic attack in Chicago, Philadelphia and New York City. And each city has its owns reasons and history, but the common thread is privatization, austerity, poverty, and racism.

The presence of a young, inexperienced white male being in charge of a flailing school is not new. Teachers worried about job security and the fate of their students is also not new. Veteran teachers leaving or mentally checking out because they have survived trauma after trauma is not new. And children and young adults being at the center of it all and often being silenced is definitely not new.

Each person will walk away with something different because of the lack of answers and closure provided in Exit Strategy.  This may be on purpose. As we watch the final scene we are left with the question, what's next? What can or should be done? It challenges are sense of care and urgency for our fellow man. Do we fight or do we wait to be saved?

Please go and see Exit Strategy that runs until February 28th.