Today, I am sitting here thinking about a quote from an article featuring Viola Davis. "I get a gag order placed on me. They didn't want to see your liberation. They don't want to see your mess. They don't want to see you." And I realized that it took her to reach a certain point before she could admit these truths to the world and to herself. She also mentioned how much time had been wasted hiding behind people's expectations and by staying in a box.
I say fuck that!
Yesterday, I was reminded that my self worth is vital. It is important that I remember and acknowledge who I am to me. Not who I am because I have done this or because I know a certain person, and not even because I have this amount of education. I am important simply because, I am. Many of us need to be reminded of that so that we don't hand over our dreams to dream killers, and so we never forget who we are. Even when love has been stripped away and you feel a sense of darkness surrounding you, know that YOU are the light that you seek.
Stop surrounding yourself with people who are living a half life or simply a non-life. Stop embracing those who are predators of your light and time. Stop trying to be something that you truly do not want to be. And stop trying to impress others with this false sense of excellence and success. Align yourself in your truth, embrace it, and then walk the path as it opens up in front of you.
For those who wake up each morning with little to no joy for what they are doing, find another way. Because sadness and despair is contagious and this world has seen enough of that bullshit.
If it is time for a change. Then make a plan, write it down, create a vision board, and make it happen. Ask for help. And like Shondra Rimes stated in her previous book, learn how to say Yes and stop saying Later. And please stop expecting negative people to do or be different, just be mindful of boundaries.
Each of us only have today. And trust me, there are times that I want to ball into a fetus and simply give the fuck up. And I allow myself to have a pity party replete with hats, food, drinks, and whining. But then, I sit up and start working my plan. And shedding.
Now if the obstacles appear insurmountable and it truly feels as if God has left you completely alone, then it is time to ask if this is the right path. Sometimes shitty things happen to redirect you or to get you to pay attention to SOMETHING NEW, something better! Or that you have been here before and it is time to stop repeating the cycle of pain. During these moments, we must hunker down and listen. Get real quiet and do the work so that when a new door does open you are prepared and ready.
Just never give up. Surround yourself with dreamers who do the work. And live your life with truth and fearlessness. Keep taking it day by day. Because many of us just simply do not like the life we are living and that should never be. So choose a path, take some risks, BREATHE and Live, Live, Live!! And most of all be seen in all your splendor.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
#mentalhealth
Lately, there has been a push for mental health in the Black community. This is not a trend. It’s not even a fancy hashtag. It is actually as important as what you put into your body and how you nurture your spirit. Unfortunately, the Black community has every right to distrust Western medicine. There is a historical legacy of abuse and testing on Black and Native bodies that predates slavery. And continued as late as the 1970s in our prison systems and local clinics. But, mental health issues like depression, PTSD, addiction, schizophrenia and more exist, and they often go undiagnosed in the same communities that have been abused.
The question and dilemma is how do we seek therapies that will benefit us and actually help without being guinea pigs. First, I truly believe that the combination of western and eastern practices in our communities would be beneficial. Acupuncture along with traditional therapy can actually alleviate episodes of anxiety and stress related disorders. When you are shopping for a therapist, do not simply settle for anyone. Ask for recommendations and seek care from mental health providers who share your same background. Visit holistic spaces to get opinions and options that work for you. If you require medicine, research the side effects and ask questions so that you are always informed. And always keep track of dosages and journal how you feel during the first few months of use. So that you can share with your doctor.
Do not let fear, no matter how qualified, keep you from getting the help you need. Self harm and suicide rates in the Black community are often overlooked and not publicized. And all of us deserve to be here and be able to live a full unfettered life. Even something as small as speaking with someone outside of your friends and family, when a traumatic event occurs is never a bad idea.
What we will not do is continue the stigma by shaming those who get and need help. Or even worse, ridicule a hashtag or a movement to get more people the help they need. Because the very person standing right next to you may be screaming for help, but will never tell you because they know you will shame them. And before you know it, you will witness their downward spiral or even worse they will simply disappear without a word.
Therapy has been my saving grace on numerous occasions. And it has shown me how I can value my sanity and calm. That combined with meditation, prayer, and other Eastern practices provide me an outlet for my pain and anger. It allows me to be healthier for my family and to be a conduit for when my personal circle and child also need help. I can point them towards effective services. And more importantly support them.
So stop the shaming and start supporting. Or else...
The question and dilemma is how do we seek therapies that will benefit us and actually help without being guinea pigs. First, I truly believe that the combination of western and eastern practices in our communities would be beneficial. Acupuncture along with traditional therapy can actually alleviate episodes of anxiety and stress related disorders. When you are shopping for a therapist, do not simply settle for anyone. Ask for recommendations and seek care from mental health providers who share your same background. Visit holistic spaces to get opinions and options that work for you. If you require medicine, research the side effects and ask questions so that you are always informed. And always keep track of dosages and journal how you feel during the first few months of use. So that you can share with your doctor.
Do not let fear, no matter how qualified, keep you from getting the help you need. Self harm and suicide rates in the Black community are often overlooked and not publicized. And all of us deserve to be here and be able to live a full unfettered life. Even something as small as speaking with someone outside of your friends and family, when a traumatic event occurs is never a bad idea.
What we will not do is continue the stigma by shaming those who get and need help. Or even worse, ridicule a hashtag or a movement to get more people the help they need. Because the very person standing right next to you may be screaming for help, but will never tell you because they know you will shame them. And before you know it, you will witness their downward spiral or even worse they will simply disappear without a word.
Therapy has been my saving grace on numerous occasions. And it has shown me how I can value my sanity and calm. That combined with meditation, prayer, and other Eastern practices provide me an outlet for my pain and anger. It allows me to be healthier for my family and to be a conduit for when my personal circle and child also need help. I can point them towards effective services. And more importantly support them.
So stop the shaming and start supporting. Or else...
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