Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

It is the nearing the end of yet another year. It is a time when many of us begin to make new goals for the next year or we simply move into the new year with the status quo. For me, this is a great time for silence and letting go. I started this blog August of 2013 and in that time it has grown and stretched into more than I ever imagined, and it continues to be open to even more possibilities. The anecdotes and ideas that I share are based in my reality and observations. The reality I face daily as a single parent actress attempting to find balance and joy between all of the lives that I lead. On one hand, I am a fierce advocate for public education and for those who continue to be relegated to the sidelines. And there are times I can't attend every meeting, I can't write every article, and I can't even attend every rally. And during those moments, I can feel as if I am not doing enough. But, I definitely do my very best. The other Tamara, balances working several part ...

No air No justice Not surprised  I wish I could say that the individual Grand Jury verdicts for Michael Brown and Eric Garner and for the countless other Black men, women, and children who continue to be killed  by law enforcement and citizens was shocking, but it is not. Social media and society is definitely divided along several lines, but mostly it is separated between denial and truth. The truth is that America has very deep racist values in its DNA. The treatment of women is yet another conundrum that we cannot fully overcome either because of how we also devalue individuals based on gender. Look at how we deal with rape. The list goes on and on, but mostly it is connected to the American view of "us" and "them." We even go as far as to designate certain months for "them". We celebrate Women's History Month, Black History Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, and every other population who is not the majority. This is a silent and overt practic...

When you are a single parent actress sometimes you venture into the land of dating or simply ward off crazies that you meet at the market, on the train.... I literally just met a slew of men who all blurred into the same person. Each of them kept calling me baby as if they were literally allergic to my name. Each of them could not decide the exact age of their children who they "take care of".  And all of them wanted me to drop everything and hang out with them in less than 12 hours of meeting. Boom. Boom. Boom!!! The best part of meeting someone new is when they ask you the famous question, "So what do you do for a living?" And you say...."I'm a professional actress." Then here comes the Boom. Boom #1: "Really?" Boom #2: "What have you been in?" Boom #3 and my most personal fave: "What do you full time?"  Ummmm....This....dagnabit! We single parent actresses want the simple things. Someone who understands that our s...

Okay. I must write this because if someone ever tells me this again I may lose it! When someone tells you, "One day you may get your big break," it bastardizes all of the great projects and hard work that you have been involved with since you started on this crazy journey in the first place. It is just as insulting as someone finding out that you are a public school teacher, and the response being, "Wow, that is really noble or I can't even imagine what that must be like." It looks like teaching! And if you talk to a few you may never have to make such inappropriate assumptions again. What does this magical big break even look like? Is is it a great payday? Is it that bucket list role you always wanted? Is it fame? What?!  If I waited for this "big break" as supposed to simply going after work period, I would be cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Waiting for that "big break" is the same as those folks who wait for a winning lottery ticket to land in t...