After I had my daughter, I took on a new persona. I like to call it, 'I don't give a rats ass!' Yep. At times I would worry about what others thought of me and if my actions mattered and would I be liked. And then I got pregnant and those outside vocal opinions started again. The business of acting and choosing the riskier path is not always popular or safe.
Sample voices: Why aren't you married? What are people going to think? Why do I keep trying to make acting work? You are not getting any younger. Why does she work more than me? Why am I not rich and famous? Why is she so irresponsible? I can't believe she is going to be a mother.What about my bills?
And then I gave birth and soon after I found my own voice and it said, 'Fuck all that shit!" And that voice gets stronger and louder everyday. Because my joy cannot and will not be determined by the opinions of others. Fuck that! When I wake and hit the ground running, I am accountable to me, my daughter, and God. Because face it, no one else has to walk my path and their opinions, stares, whispers, and assumptions can't help me. In fact, if I am not careful they will tempt me to the darkside of the superficial world where everyone cares about what others think, distractions, and have me thinking that I am somehow less cause I don't wear makeup daily or clean my house on a regular or that I don't work a "productive" 9 to 5. When they are simply compensating for their own mediocrity and BS and their own fear and otherwise joyless existence.
So I say F them and keep it moving. Life is better when you limit the audience to your life and silence those voices that are not yours. And if the F bomb makes you cringe, I don't give a rats ass.
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