The cycle of brokenness

Today, I taught a great class. One of the discussions centered on honesty and relationship building. Then that leaped directly into goals and the ability to do better or wanting better. This made me realize that society is filled with broken people who are unable to get to their dreams and if you are not careful they will run ramshod through yours. If you let them.

First let me define what I mean by the term "brokenness." It is a state of being where one continues to experience trauma because they have not sought professional help or because they continue to repeat the trauma, which then creates a cycle of broken relationships, unaccomplished goals, and unachievable growth.

Often, we have someone or a few soomebodies who fit this description as a friend or as a family member. Sometimes we even encounter them in an intimate relationship or as a parent. In the artistic world they can manifest as peers who simply can never get out of their own way and every obstacle they face is never their fault. No matter where they pop up, they remind us that healing is not as easy as snapping your fingers or praying it away. First, one has to acknowledge that the trauma happened and then they have to find help. And then they have to put in the work to find the path towards healing and wholeness.

Both of these tasks can be daunting because many of us love the world of denial. You know that place where nothing and everything never is. You have to listen and be aware. You have to find out what the fuck is wrong. But that is at times impossible if you are deep in the cycle of brokenness. So deep that it feels more normal than chaotic. It feels better to be hurting than to be healed. It feels better to hurt others than to stop inflicting pain. 

And I realize that I encounter this in my life because I can appear like a safe harbor. For some, I can give a hug and a possible path to healing. But the cost for those of us that have already done much of this work can be very high. At times it can be downright dangerous and even worse damaging. Because it takes constant work to maintain a state of healing and calm. It takes constant dedicated practice to always live in joy and honesty rather than delusion. It takes constant dedication to stay steadfast in my journey towards what God has promised for me. 

Now I realize that mental health is a messy place. But it is the key to so much that is wrong with the world. It is the key to us treating each other better, loving healthier, living more in truth, and more importantly it can be the healthy contagion necessary to eradicate the dark that exists everywhere. But we have to start with us. And we have to be careful. Because the brokenness of others  has a way of trying to rebreak you if you are not paying attention. 

Loving only works if it comes from the light. Growing only happens if you nourish it. Healing only occurs if you actually take one step toward it.