Stop sucking me into your unhappy

Some of us are simply soul sucking individuals. You know that one friend who you need to have a drink before you hang out. And then burn sage and light candles once they leave. The same one who seems to never be happy no matter the small and large blessings circling at their feet. Now, I know that life can at times bring you to the brink of madness. But, damn, living in that misery may not be the best option.

And somehow they seek me out like a beacon. Now I don't mind a friend who needs to vent. Shit, we all need that from time to time. Every time you see them everything in the world is horrible and there is nothing to smile about. I am literally talking about that person who has been working at the same place for 100 years and is ALWAYS unhappy there! They hate it! They want to leave! But somehow, they never get the gumption or a plan to get to moving on. Face it. After awhile you simply have to just find some joy in something or else.

Or even worse, the person who has it going on but is somehow never ever ever grateful. Ever! Really?! You know this person. They get a raise that they have worked very hard for and then they sit at their celebration dinner complaining about how they did not get as much as the other employee. Or even better. Someone gets the role of a lifetime and invites all of their close friends and family out to rejoice the good news, and that one person goes on and on about how they never get cast in anything. And you sit there and watch the life and joy simply drain from the room and the drinks.

So here is some advice. Please stop sucking me and others into your unhappy! Pretty please with sugar and glitter on top. Now if you are having a meltdown, I am their for you. If you are habitually joyless then please seek professional help.

And for those who are simply ungrateful, stop it!! And I write this with love and empathy with a cherry on top.

Cooking with Maya

When I was small, I stayed in the kitchen with my grandma. She was always cooking and it is where I learned. I helped her grate cheese. I chopped onions and I sliced tomatoes. I even helped her pick grapes for homemade wine.  When everyone else simply came to the table when it was time to eat, I was learning how to make magic happen.

Now I watch my daughter chop onions, scoop out avocados and chop cilantro for her yummy guacamole. Or season eggs or make cookies from scratch. She even helps with my famous gumbo.

The more special moments are cooking side by side like tonight. I was prepping pork for a crock pot stew as she was making lunch. She is chopping and I am braising. She is seasoning and I'm combining. We are talking and she is asking questions about life.

And I am reminded how traditions never die and how much I miss my grandma. But how much Maya reminds me of her. And how precious time is.

Cooking with Maya is always a great night and I am grateful for them.

Take a Leap of Faith or else

There are times as artists we are challenged to take a leap of faith. Now you may say, anyone who chooses to pursue this crazy life with no security, pension, feedback, and lots of stress must already be ready to take a leap. But there are moments when life happens.

There are moments when an avalanche of chaos falls all over you and you cannot simply see past the obstacles and the shit. You are so blinded by disappointment and despair that you simply want to go back to sleep and pretend that you will wake up to a better life. And then you wake up to even more stuff. If you are as single parent like me, this stuff can come in the form of believing that you are dragging your children or child into this unknown artist life without any safety net and then you are instantly overcome with shame and guilt. Or even worse you are surrounded by the unwelcome death of a loved one. Then the questions and worry start. Maybe you should go back to that dead end job? Maybe you should apply for something more steady? Maybe you should simply stop since life continues to throw you lemons? Maybe you should stop living your life as you continue to mourn? Maybe you should simply go to sleep?

The only problem with this thinking is that it emanates from pure and unadulterated fear. And guess what?! We are surrounded by scared folks. And they can be contagious if you are not careful. They can make you forget the joy of auditions and getting that phone call for that awesome job. They can make you forget the amazing journey that has been filled with more lessons than curses. They can make me forget that my sheer dedication to this life is one of the best lessons for my daughter. Regardless of my miniscule savings. And those who we have lost would not want us wasting away and forgo our dreams and aspirations.

I am taking a new leap of faith into writing and creating. I refuse to be limited by my surroundings and by fear. My belief in God cannot exist with fear and uncertainty. And whatever you believe in, you should probably check your own fear odometer. If your days are filled with you never moving forward or simply sleeping until you arrive at that dead end job that not only barely fills your bank account, but even worse does not fill your soul or bring your joy.Then that is a signal to end the insanity and to simply step away and step into something better.

We all deserve the best that life has to offer, and we deserve to receive what is meant and designed specifically for us. So stop looking across the street wishing that you had what they had. Stop waiting for that magical lottery win. Wish and pray for what should and can be yours and watch the doors open wide and all obstacles move out of your way.

Listen and don't give line notes

The beauty of having a director is that he or she will let you know what they are looking for by giving you direction and guidance. There is a hidden rule that no actor should give another actor a note. Or even worse, ask their fellow actor to try something that the director did not ask them to do. You can have a discussion about character and motivation, but if the director asks you to say the line with more attitude and then look left, then you better do just that. If something makes your line delivery odd, then get over it, figure it out,  or ask a question to the director. Not to the other actor.

Listen to what is being said to everyone else. Just because you are not the focus, you can learn a bit about the scene by listening to what other directions are. You can confirm if your initial instincts are valid.

And I realize that some classes and workshops will drive home the fact that no one cares about your training or which theater you worked at or if you ever did theater. But, if you love this work, it may be a good idea to understand the basics of acting, improvisation, and comedy. It is important that actors listen to each other and are able to translate directions, simple or complex, into their bodies, actions, and voice. One should be able to simply deliver what is written and even more important what is asked of you. This rule applies to stage, film, and TV.

Even if you simply want to be famous and could care a rats ass about your craft, you won't go far if you cannot simply listen, take and execute direction.

So don't give line directions or notes, that is why the director is there. And that is all. 

The day I found Rocky the Squirrel

Yes, the other day I woke from a nap to find a dead squirrel in my bedroom. Confession: I hate rodents! Even when they are dead it takes me a moment to get the courage to dispose of them. Thankfully, my 13 year old daughter fears only frogs so she usually takes care of them. And I feel no shame. She will be prepared to cook and fearlessly get rid of rodents once she becomes an adult. That makes her ready to live in any urban city.

The death of Rocky just made me even more grateful for my amazing first experience on a television set. And despite his feet up in the air and his stiff fluffy tail, I was still on an adrenaline high from Friday. I got to film a sitcom that will air on NBC in 2015. The quick pace of television reminds me of sketch comedy, improv, and theatre all wrapped in one. Lines are written, rewritten, and direction is given at light speed. It served as a great high five confirmation of my acting abilities. And that being funny is not as easy as it looks.

That dead squirrel did not take away my joy. Despite the mystery of him finding his ass into my room in the first place. Where in the heck did he or she come from? The fear I felt moments after seeing his rotting carcass did nothing to erase my joy. Because this first will most definitely not be my last. I am so excited that faith, hard work and perseverance definitely continue to pay off.

Now Rocky's path came to an end but mine continues like the Energizer bunny. I will admit, I felt not one bit of sadness that the rodent met an untimely demise, but his end did remind me that I should continue no matter what because you never know. And I plan on staying in this actor life until I am forcibly kicked out. For that, I simply want to say, thank you Rocky!

Be and do you and leave me the frick and frack alone

Moments remind us that we have to follow our path without regret or hesitation. We will always have those who love to tell us how we could do so much better if only. "If only you went back to school you could blah blah blah." "If only you hooked up with so and so your life could be blah blah blah" "If only you went to more open mics folks would blah blah blah" "If only you met this casting director things would blah blah blah" "If only you were not so threatening to my own unfulfilled dreams I would stop telling you if only"

Well let me share my two cents. I am not here to serve as a reminder of what you should be doing. I am here to remind myself always of what I can do.  I am here and on this path because I chose it and it unequivocally chose me.

So since I did not ask for your advice and your "if only" suggestions, I am going to continue down this road until I exhaust all of its possibilities, moments, and lessons. I am going to keep living in my truth and I pray that you find yours before I sock those suggestions and hints right out of your mouth!

So move on our of my path and I will see you on yours soon. And guess what?! I will simply let you be and do you while I simply do me. (drops mic and happily runs off stage left)

When should you throw in the towel

A few of my friends have decided to throw in the towel, make some changes, or simply leave this actor life. It has made me ponder just when is it time to exit stage left for good.

I believe it has to do with the reason that brought you to this life in the first place. I did not seek it out, it found me. And ever since, I have been on this road for better or for worse. Many have asked if I seek some great reward or a major payday. I have to honestly say no. I am always seeking the next role that will allow me the privelege of inhabiting a new life for a few moments. Something that will stretch me as an artist. And I have to admit, I love it! It makes me crazy at times when work is not flowing in but it is a rush.

But there are moments that this life is little challenging or makes me frustrated. And those moments remind me to dig deeper and not focus on the negative, which is easier said than done. Exercise or a half pitcher of sangria or both make it all better.

There is an ebb and flow to all all journeys. No matter the career choice. No matter the decision. There is a positive and negative. And the riskier the path, the better the payoff, but it is layered with even more uncertainty and unknowns. The closer you come to an epiphany, the more challenges arise.

Let's face it. Who in their right mind would choose a career path with little to no guarantees and not many work opportunities for black females? Me!!!

I may throw in the towel when the challenges become too great or I simply stop loving what I am doing. Loving this life is what makes everything worthwhile including the challenges. This walk of faith requires a great deal of love for self and a belief that you are truly not alone. And I know that I am not.

And that makes all the difference.