Confessions of a Single Parent (Actress)

The audition hamster wheel can make you forget what you should be grateful for moment to moment. In a world that is centered on everything that is not important, it is easy to get selfish and let your ego dictate your perception. I just had a drink and a great conversation with a friend who reminded me that this constant practice can have one circling the drain if not careful. We spoke about the 4 agreements.  Be Impeccable with your Word Don't Take anything Personally Don't Make Assumptions Always Do your Best Now these may seem like easy and common sense things to do. But, when you are carrying fear and trauma that can be triggered at any moment, they are easier to read than to actually manifest. They are the mantra, I live by but I am also human and fall short at times. That is why the final agreement is sooo important. It is a restart. A reset button that reminds us that we have tomorrow or even the next hour to do better.  Another thing to add to that list ...

This audition season had been filled with dashed hopes. More high level opportunities and great scripts. Fewer yesses! Lots of No's. Now this business is filled with rejection. Our sole job is to walk into a room and give our best 1-3 minute performance. Our job is to make decisions and provide an authentic person. Our job is to stay fresh and relevant in our craft. Then we leave the room and have a celebratory meal and push the experience out of our mind and psyche, which is easier said than done. And usually, I am up to the task, but this audition season, I nearly wanted to take my ball home and never audition again. Many of my friends are no longer in this business. Many are exhausted of the season of No and have embarked in work that will provide more regular pay. Some have translated their love into producing, writing, directing, and more. Others have turned their season of No into a world of Yes. I will admit that I am still trying to figure it out. Last season, I produced,...

A few days ago marked a month in the Trump Presidency. In a month, there have been travel bans, lies, false terrorist attacks, LGTBQ threats, and more lies. Not to mention a cabinet that traded in their white sheets for a suit and tie, but did not trade in their beliefs. There have not only been daily and weekly protests, but the media has banned White House staff from speaking. Now this may appear as if I describing an episode of the Twilight Zone, but I am describing actual events, reality. The problem is the constant shock at how this happened. This is a problem because it is time for a crash course in karma. Trump being President and all of the crazy that comes with it, is simply "The Chickens coming home to roost," as Malcolm X said so eloquently. When an entire country is built on the construct of racism and hate mongering, then the truth of that will manifest itself in leadership. And that is how we got here. We can always blame poverty and the unemployment rate. Tha...

Watching This is Us, I am struck by the line, "I have lived a life of almost and could haves." What also struck me was the contentment that the character felt in saying the line. Maybe contentment is the wrong word. He felt okay and had clearly forgiven his choices so that he could move on or better yet, so that he could live in the present. These conversations that we have with ourselves usually occur when we are evaluating the life that we have lived in order to make our next steps. I needed to see this. And more importantly, I needed to hear this. Life as an artist is one filled with hills and valleys. It is also filled with fear and uncertainty. Unlike most career choices, this is one that is seldom understood by the majority and even worse it is only fully seen by other actors and performers. How does one continue in this life with no fear? How do you conquer your internal demons? You don't. The answer is that the fear will always be there. And if you have faith, t...

This is the time that most actors dread. The hiatus between gigs. Or even worse, a long break between gigs. You are pounding the pavement going to audition after audition, Callback, put on hold, interested and then NADA! Back on the grind you go. This is when you become easily annoyed and you start looking at regular jobs as if they could be your salvation. Mostly because you begin to doubt what you are trying to do in the first place. And of course, I am grateful for the work and the opportunities. Blah Blah Blah! At this moment, I just want to bitch and moan about my unemployment as a professional actor. Thank you now back to me. What am I going to about it? Recenter myself through prayer, meditation, laughter, and quiet. Learn some new music. Memorize some new monologues. Update my voice over demo. Stop bitching! And remember that I was completely miserable at those soul sucking "regular" jobs and none of them brought me "magical" financial security. And ...

Two weeks ago, a group of educators in the Caucus of Working Educators sponsored a Black Lives Matter week in Philadelphia. The initial idea for the action was inspired by Seattle Public School teachers who wore Black Lives Matters shirts in support of their Black and Brown students. An action to lift these students up and to highlight the systemic racism that continues to exist and pervade every aspect of American society. I want to talk about some of the lessons learned from the week. Lesson #1, not everyone is prepared or ready to face their own privilege and racism. Lesson #2, the voices of the youth are always honest and on point. Lesson #3, studying movements provides the words necessary to change hearts and minds by dealing in truth rather than lies and conjecture. Lesson #4, organized labor unions and school districts continue to battle with the intersection of race and teaching and learning. Lesson #1 I have been doing this work for a lifetime. Ever since I discovered tha...

Black women on the screen. Beautiful Black women with families. Amazing Black Women that made the space program possible. Cue...tears. I sat in the movie theatre the day after Christmas in an audience filled with Black women of all ages. The theatre was packed and once Hidden Figures started we were all on the journey together. Watching Black women in Jim Crow south in 1961 despite the 1954 Brown vs. Board of Education case and the bus boycott. Virginia was still Virginia. And in the midst of this racist program, there was power on that screen. And that power did not wear pants. They wore skirts and glasses, and carried mechanical pencils. And they brought the power of numbers to the space race. Remember no shuttle can land nor enter the atmosphere without the calculations. The audience cheered and laughed. We all cried when one of characters spoke in fits of breathlessness about the half mile hike she had to take several times each day just to use the facilities. The story was als...