This summer was s?@#t...and then

So let's talk about this summer. I started hopeful that I would book a gig because for the last two summers I have. Well I didn't. And I was on a roll from September until March. And then shit started to happen. And I started working for a company that literally drained my life source, oh and did not pay me for 3 weeks. Oh and my church paid for work that never got done (all on my watch) (oh and from the same company). And my best friend's bathroom was completely destroyed. And this was just July! Then I did not resign with my agent and I worried what the fuck was going to happen next.

So what does all of this chaos have to do with being a single parent actress? Well, in order for my family to survive, I assemble a set of part time jobs that always work for me. Well, since the end of March, all of those jobs quickly started to dry up or simply not exist. I quickly went into hustle/survivor mode, which always serves me well. Except for this time. The well was drying up quickly and I began to lose sleep because I just could not catch up. Because this is beyond the sucky economy, this somehow was trying to get my attention. And I had no idea for what or why.

In addition to financial and career upheaval, I also lost two of my dearest friends earlier this year. And I still reach for the phone wanting to pour my heart out or simply to laugh at the latest gossip...and I can't.

Then my tenants at my house in Chicago got arrested and a few weeks after vacating the premises all of the pipes were stolen, and the damage they left behind was extensive. So where in the sam hell am I supposed to get monies for my mortgage, repairs, rent, and simple survival?! And why did this perfect storm of events decide to occur this year?! What lessons am I supposed to learn?And can it hurry up because this shit sucks!

And then I get to see my face on the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Nurse Jackie, and now a new mini series. I am still humbled, thankful, and amazed at the generosity that was demonstrated at my Bday Concert, and by those surprises that come in the mail or have been given to me just because that have literally saved me at the last minute. And I thank God each day. Wonderful! Except I am on the verge of leaving this life altogether and I have no idea what to do that will heal my soul and spirit enough.

I did just sign with a new agent and my manager is awesome. So now what? This is where I usually regale my readers with some wonderful spiritual anecdote where everything turns out great....Well I got nothing...and that's the truth...