The hiatus from Dating

Dating used to be fun. When people actually communicated in person instead of texting, sexting, or swiping yes or no on an app. I used to get very excited about the prospect of a new experience and leaving disappointment in my rear-view mirror.

Today, I find I have to actually take breaks or hiatuses each time it just doesn't work out...once again...for whatever reason. Just like an adult, I examine my side of it and compare and contrast what was said and what was actually done. Then I forgive myself and move past it. But, today I am realizing that I may no longer be able to handle rejection in my personal and professional life. Imagine entering a room of strangers once or twice a week, knowing that each time is an opportunity to be rejected or not considered. Then imagine the act of you rejecting others and you also being rejected for all kinds of reasons. And that is the reason that my breaks get a bit longer each time because my capacity for healing is growing more limited.

The only good thing that has come from my last dating spree is that I created an amazing script with the words that I actually heard and experienced first hand. I produced something that I hope can bring some laughs and insight into the realm of relationships. I also learned that it is perfectly okay to never ever ever settle for less than I deserve because I am amazingly kind and beautiful from the inside out.

My advice to anyone who is over 40 and still interested in dating is the following. Of course, I reference age because my 20s and 30s were very different because I was different. Soo now for the advice. Have fun. Be open minded. Listen to your gut. Believe your feelings. And most of all communicate clearly without conjecture and subterfuge. And please believe your gut. (Worth mentioning twice). Live in your truth. Become whole before entering a relationship. And have fun (Worth mentioning again too).  And if you find a match, wonderful. If you do not, it is okay to take a break and relish in the quiet because if it was meant to be it would be. And if crazy happens, exit stage left with grace and confidence.

Taking it to the next level

I have had two moments, one before Thanksgiving, and one today to remind me that I am on the right path. I was sitting waiting to be seen for a small TV role when a man who worked at the office walked by in all of his CEO glory. I turned to the actress next to me and jokingly said, "At times I feel as if I chose the wrong career path." She quickly turned to me and replied, "I came from corporate and WE are in the best career. One where WE are actually chosen for who we really are." The next time was today. I had an audition and noticed that some of my peers were getting callback times and of course that feeling of rejection started to sink in, despite feeling joyous for my fellow audition buddies and fully understanding that I have booked gigs without the thrill of a callback. Then I remembered that when I got the email for the audition appointment I had $10 to my name. And before I knew it, thanks to the magic of the PayPal MasterCard, I had a train ticket. My dear friend who is also an amazing actress said, "The money came when you needed it. And it always does. You have more TV credits within a year then you had this same time last year. Now it is time to embrace that and not worry about these auditions."

I say yes to all of those conversations and thank you. Not only am I going to auditions for new pilots, but I am also in the process of co-producing my first comedic short featuring some hot talent. I watched the raw footage the other day in Starbucks with my camera guru and realized that it is a great start to another career path within this bizness we call show bizness. A published article in an education research journal is another feather in my cap. Being asked to represent my expertise on a panel a the University of Pennsylvania Law School is yet another. Returning to do the same character for Season 2 of a hit Netflix series. Performing in more concerts with some great musicians. About to watch my daughter perform in her first play. All of this while relocating suddenly.

I am reminded today that I need to sit down and start writing a more specific plan for where I want to be in 2 weeks, 6 months, and 1 year from today because this trajectory will only continue if I continue to put the work in. And it is hard to work towards something if you are not focused and lose your way. So to all of my fellow artists who want 2016 to be better than 2015, take a seat, and chart out your path. Seeking new representation? Go get it. Want to be seen by the right casting directors? Watch TV and watch for your type on the screen and get in front of those CDs. Want to break into voice overs? Get a demo. You need a better second gig to make sure that you stay focused on the main one? Find a service that you can provide others. (I just learned how to edit reels and videos for crowdfunding). Looking to work at more theaters? Attend all open calls and continue to nurture established relationships with positivity.

And remember to hug yourself and to surround yourself with positive energy. Listen for God's answers in strangers and friends alike. Pray. And know that this is a marathon not a race, and enjoy the ebb and flow of highs and lows until you see nothing but greatness and ease in front of you.