I just finished an amazing show and now I am once again unemployed and in that holding pattern I like to call, "Waiting for my next gig." During this time I used to get all stressed out and literally watch my locs fall to the floor. Thankfully, I have discovered other things to keep my mind off of the break and silence.
Exercise and meditation is a great way to pass the time and refocus my energies into something more positive. It allows me to take a moment to be thankful for all my recent successes and to not constantly check my bank account wanting to leap off of a cliff. (And this time I have actually lost some weight and gained some new flexibility) Reconnecting with other fellow performers by sharing a meal, a drink, conversation, gossip, or all the above. Make sure you do not fill this time with emotional leeches or else you make still want to leap off of the proverbial cliff.
Returning full time back to being an advocate for youth, public education, increased minimum wage and all that makes our world a better place is always a space where I can find peace and fulfillment. It reminds me that every time a budget is cut or a school is closed, it is one more opportunity for a child to not have any art in their life. Which may result in fewer future artists if we are not careful. And without hope we also diminish the opportunity for others to make their dreams a reality.
And the best part of this time off, is to work on new shit. New music. New monologues. Writing. Teaching. Networking with more casting directors. A better me. And venturing into new projects that stretch me as an artist and individual. And since, I am such a television junkie, this is a great time to catch up on all the shows I missed when I was in a show myself.
Oh and I nearly forgot, I also picked up dating during this time, which I usually do not do. And I must say it has been an interesting process with all the bells and whistles that I expected and did not expect. Thanks to the technological wonders of Tinder and Badoo, I am always one swipe away from a new adventure.
And this is my new survival guide until I book a new gig.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Another day in the life of a substitute teacher
Well, I just survived another day after being on stage with an unruly group of 8th graders. And let me say this. I get it that actors have to supplement their income by any means necessary but days like this make me reconsider those pole dancing classes I nearly signed up for. Because, I have to make sure that my voice is in tip top shape for auditions, I refuse to yell and scream. Ever! In fact, once I got past Year 2 and vocal nodules as a full-time time public school teacher, I figured out more creative ways to command the attention of any classroom. And today was a testament to my ability to maintain my sanity and composure.
Teacher is absent. Teacher leaves work. Students don't want to do work. You have no leverage to make them. Students try to break every rule known to man. Why??? Because they have a substitute. In the history of substitutes, this is a standard tradition. And each school has their own version of Napoleonic rules that make it nearly impossible to keep up. And the students simply want to talk. Unfortunately, each of them speak as if they are yelling to another across ten football fields! I think I may have actually said today, "If any of these are private conversations, everyone else in the class and next door can most definitely hear them."
Yet, there is always that moment when you can share some wonderful story that magically gets them to all respond as if they are in their own sitcom, but not today. Today, I watched as a few of them defied gravity and how even fewer simply completed the goddamn assignment!
If I ever needed to be reminded that performing, advocacy, writing, and singing are my permanent calling then today was the day. I do remember being in the classroom every day and I have some awesome, not so awesome and downright ridiculous stories from that experience. My life was forever changed from those years. But today is a new day and I can't wait until I get another gig. And that's the truth!
Teacher is absent. Teacher leaves work. Students don't want to do work. You have no leverage to make them. Students try to break every rule known to man. Why??? Because they have a substitute. In the history of substitutes, this is a standard tradition. And each school has their own version of Napoleonic rules that make it nearly impossible to keep up. And the students simply want to talk. Unfortunately, each of them speak as if they are yelling to another across ten football fields! I think I may have actually said today, "If any of these are private conversations, everyone else in the class and next door can most definitely hear them."
Yet, there is always that moment when you can share some wonderful story that magically gets them to all respond as if they are in their own sitcom, but not today. Today, I watched as a few of them defied gravity and how even fewer simply completed the goddamn assignment!
If I ever needed to be reminded that performing, advocacy, writing, and singing are my permanent calling then today was the day. I do remember being in the classroom every day and I have some awesome, not so awesome and downright ridiculous stories from that experience. My life was forever changed from those years. But today is a new day and I can't wait until I get another gig. And that's the truth!
Friday, April 3, 2015
Hateration and shade
As I sit here drinking Skinny Girl Margarita from a tea cup, I am reminded that I have experienced some interesting shade in this business that we call show business. Folks are quick to criticize you when you achieve some great things and then push you further down the hole when you are hanging on for dear life.
You get a role and you feel amazing! Then you overhear someone or feel someone in the cast throwing you mad shade because they auditioned for the same role and did not get it. And in turn, they opted for a lesser role instead. If you are unhappy, please stop the shade. No one told you that you had to take something else. Either love where you are or keep it moving! I'm just saying.
My other favorite as I sip on this lovely drink with all the alcohol but a fraction of the calories. You finally get cast as a day player or co-star in a series. And you are confident that this is one of many to come your way. But, you are not delusional enough to believe that you have arrived and all work ends here. And you get that inbox message that reminds you that the role was not race specific so now every non-person of color is hitting you up to let you know that they auditioned too and you hear the crickets of pause before they finally type congratulations. Do you realize how many auditions I have been on where someone else got the role? Or how many roles there are for white folks?! I am ecstatic that someone else is working when it isn't me. Because no matter how close we are or how many times we pass each other at auditions, you will never know what their journey has for them. You will never know what God has for them and you. And if you want your blessings to continue you better check that shade at the door or else.
When you are living in your purpose everything is possible.
Now am I innocent of throwing shade or hateration? Hell to the no. But, I am aware enough to see when it is seeping into my brain and when I need to stop hanging around the hateration and shade patrol unit. Because if you are not careful it will catch you unawares and you will start flinging that shit like a pro.
Lastly, this business can lead to pity parties and pity extravaganzas. This is when you will find that one person who will literally suck the joy out of eating chocolate. You are financially in ruin and you haven't booked anything in months. Be careful of those who want to blame everything from the casting director to the director to the fact that they never hire our kind. It takes you away from self-improvement and from your daily grind. If not careful you will be at a complete standstill and you will not even have enough sense to realize that you are the fault of your own demise.
No let me finish this drink and take my ass to sleep...before hateration and shade get me again.
You get a role and you feel amazing! Then you overhear someone or feel someone in the cast throwing you mad shade because they auditioned for the same role and did not get it. And in turn, they opted for a lesser role instead. If you are unhappy, please stop the shade. No one told you that you had to take something else. Either love where you are or keep it moving! I'm just saying.
My other favorite as I sip on this lovely drink with all the alcohol but a fraction of the calories. You finally get cast as a day player or co-star in a series. And you are confident that this is one of many to come your way. But, you are not delusional enough to believe that you have arrived and all work ends here. And you get that inbox message that reminds you that the role was not race specific so now every non-person of color is hitting you up to let you know that they auditioned too and you hear the crickets of pause before they finally type congratulations. Do you realize how many auditions I have been on where someone else got the role? Or how many roles there are for white folks?! I am ecstatic that someone else is working when it isn't me. Because no matter how close we are or how many times we pass each other at auditions, you will never know what their journey has for them. You will never know what God has for them and you. And if you want your blessings to continue you better check that shade at the door or else.
When you are living in your purpose everything is possible.
Now am I innocent of throwing shade or hateration? Hell to the no. But, I am aware enough to see when it is seeping into my brain and when I need to stop hanging around the hateration and shade patrol unit. Because if you are not careful it will catch you unawares and you will start flinging that shit like a pro.
Lastly, this business can lead to pity parties and pity extravaganzas. This is when you will find that one person who will literally suck the joy out of eating chocolate. You are financially in ruin and you haven't booked anything in months. Be careful of those who want to blame everything from the casting director to the director to the fact that they never hire our kind. It takes you away from self-improvement and from your daily grind. If not careful you will be at a complete standstill and you will not even have enough sense to realize that you are the fault of your own demise.
No let me finish this drink and take my ass to sleep...before hateration and shade get me again.
Call me Handsome Daddy: A week of dating
Single parents are often either dating, avoiding dating, or simply living life with all the beauty and freedom that being single offers. Enough of the BS! Let's talk about dating and these wonderful free sites like Tinder, Badoo and Pick Fish. Well...why not? I am not dead and I am about to have some free time so I dive in.
You get on there and it is quite a ride. You select people from a picture and simply like or don't like them. No fee. No fuss. So now it is time to start. Of course, you get some free meals or a free movie. But, this is about those who made the highlight reel.
I actually had one man get mad at me for swiping him because (his words), "Why would I want to date someone who has 4 kids?" Really?! It is a swipe not eharmony! And why are you on here if you don't expect folks to like you? Ugh!
Or the best ones are those who immediately send you pics of their privates or of them with their children. Why am I meeting your entire family before we meet? Don't get me wrong sometimes you simply want a quick hook up between two consenting adults. And these sites do provide a means and a way, but damn. I even had one literally start with pics of his face, then they moved to his tone belly, and then yep, there it was his milky white penis. And scene.
Imagine meeting someone for the first time, and they spend the first 30 minutes of the date telling you about a horrific accident they were in and how it led to the end of their marriage. And after spending 10 minutes speaking about myself, I quickly realized that this would not go past the first date. Lesson learned from this is before you start dating again make sure that you are fully healed from your past or at least sitting on someone's couch to talk about it.
So now, I go back to the site/game and I review the other prospects (and there are many) to see who should be next. Hmmm...well I opt for an inexpensive breakfast date at 30th Street Station. The conversation was a plus. Then the slope begins to plummet. He shows me a picture of a newborn. His newborn...I will let that marinate for a minute. Then he states after telling me his real name, that he prefers to be called Handsome or Handsome Daddy. Yep! And another one hits the dust.
There was one that interested me, but he vanished after a few phone calls and that is okay too. I am always one swipe away from a breakfast, lunch, dinner, torture, or bliss.
You get on there and it is quite a ride. You select people from a picture and simply like or don't like them. No fee. No fuss. So now it is time to start. Of course, you get some free meals or a free movie. But, this is about those who made the highlight reel.
I actually had one man get mad at me for swiping him because (his words), "Why would I want to date someone who has 4 kids?" Really?! It is a swipe not eharmony! And why are you on here if you don't expect folks to like you? Ugh!
Or the best ones are those who immediately send you pics of their privates or of them with their children. Why am I meeting your entire family before we meet? Don't get me wrong sometimes you simply want a quick hook up between two consenting adults. And these sites do provide a means and a way, but damn. I even had one literally start with pics of his face, then they moved to his tone belly, and then yep, there it was his milky white penis. And scene.
Imagine meeting someone for the first time, and they spend the first 30 minutes of the date telling you about a horrific accident they were in and how it led to the end of their marriage. And after spending 10 minutes speaking about myself, I quickly realized that this would not go past the first date. Lesson learned from this is before you start dating again make sure that you are fully healed from your past or at least sitting on someone's couch to talk about it.
So now, I go back to the site/game and I review the other prospects (and there are many) to see who should be next. Hmmm...well I opt for an inexpensive breakfast date at 30th Street Station. The conversation was a plus. Then the slope begins to plummet. He shows me a picture of a newborn. His newborn...I will let that marinate for a minute. Then he states after telling me his real name, that he prefers to be called Handsome or Handsome Daddy. Yep! And another one hits the dust.
There was one that interested me, but he vanished after a few phone calls and that is okay too. I am always one swipe away from a breakfast, lunch, dinner, torture, or bliss.
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