The problem with deadlines

Society continues to support individuals creating and sticking to deadlines for major life experiences. “I hope to be married by the time I reach 30.” I will have children by the time I am 25.” “I will find the job of my dreams 6 months after college.” “I will be debt free before 40.” I will never struggle like my parents.” I will score one national commercial and pay off everything.”

And then you wake up and you quickly realize that life does not check-in according to the deadlines you established. In fact, you begin to wonder why you made them in the first place. As we make deadlines and then beat ourselves up when they do not come to fruition, we actually stop growing and learning. We stop looking at what is happening around us. For many of us, we end up in terribly ill-fitting relationships simply because we would rather make a deadline or not be alone as opposed to being with a person who is good for us. We continue to work dead end jobs in a state of misery because it fits a deadline.

Many of these deadlines surround us in order to mask the fear that come from actually living life on our own terms. Imagine going against societal rules or even better simply tuning into your own. Each of us live in a specific vibration. When we are thriving, it is because we are not going against that vibration or rhythm. It is vital that each of get quiet enough to find out what that looks like. And you what? 

There is no deadline to figure it out. You can be 10, 20, 35, 40, or 60 before you find out what makes you move and why. But, once you do, you will be able to live the life that you were always meant to. You will be able to drop all the deadlines and guilt. You will be able to feel truly live and stop and smell the roses every once in a while with anticipated joy and glee because now you know the truth. You will be able to adapt when your rhythm and vibration changes. Those deadlines are pure fiction. Let’s face it, if any of us dropped dead tomorrow, no one is going to write a eulogy about all the deadlines you met, they will speak about the life you lived, and the impact you left on others. And anyone can do that outside of deadlines by simply living life to the fullest and remembering that happiness originates from within not because you were able to check off a box. 

I'm on TV...

Just recently, I have been blessed to experience what it feels like to see your face on TV. And I must say, that it is a wonderful feeling. All of those auditions, all of the rejections, all of those times that folks kept saying, "Are you still doing that acting thing?" So now what? Well just like my many friends and peers who are also in this crazy life we call "show bizness," I am still budgeting invisible money for my housing and bills. I am still waiting for auditions to come up. In fact, I am sure that I am headed to court this week for some other shit that comes with being broke and smart.

Despite everything, I would not trade this life for any other. You know why? Because unlike many who live in fear of taking risk, I live with all of my fears on a daily basis. I drink them like smoothies before I go swimming and sleep with them like pillows each night. They stand next to me each time I look in the mirror and they have become friends.  Yes, friends. They encourage me each day to create something, meet someone, write something, get rid of trash, embrace love, sing a song, and never take anything for granted. Now do I fall short. Sure! There are some moments that fear and exhaustion take over the very core of my soul and force me to bed. But, because I know better and I have lived better and because I have a relationship with God, wonderful family and friends who call me on my shit, I arise like the phoenix and do something about it.

When you deal with fear, many of us push it aside and claim that we will be stronger tomorrow to face it. But, for me, there is no tomorrow. There is only today. So I simply like to make sure that I work each day to jump over and through each fear as it presents itself. And if I can help someone else while I am it, I do.

So what does this have to do with being on TV?  Everything. That is simply a goal of many that I have already accomplished and it reminds of me of how many more goals I have yet to achieve. I am excited about what is coming my way, but I have no delusion that at anytime I could be starting all over again or not get any work for several months. Because that is what it looks like to be a working actor and I am cool with that. Just as long as I never lose sight of my own truth and that I never forget that God's plan is always 100% better than mine. So stay open. Stay fearful. Stay mindful. Stay still. Just make sure that you stay on the path and never be afraid when it veers left, right or simply disappears to reappear someplace else.