A great voice is awesome but don't forget the story

The importance of bringing the character to life in a musical is just as vital as bringing one to fruition in a straight play with no music. The problem is that the book at times can get lost when one is learning music and choreography. If you can only comment on the movement, music, set design, and great costumes when you walk away from a musical, then the book/story has been lost in translation.

I have literally scored a role after several callbacks as a result of bringing a character to life through the lyrics and lines, as opposed to just simply being an amazing singer. In other words if you want to experience longevity and take the audience on a journey, you must find the arc of your character. Even when the musical has a two-dimensional script and a repetitive score, there is richness to mine and that makes all the difference. I love musicals. I love the sweep and beauty that they bring, but I also like the unpleasantness that exists when you are able to peel back and see the struggle of a character. I approach lyrics like lines. I listen to the music underneath and attempt to capture the tapestry of the world that is being created.

If you stumble into this business through a non-traditional route without training please do not hesitate to read and study theater history, music theory, and scene study. Familiarize yourself with the history and the reality of life that exists all around us. You never know when that cerebral knowledge and ideology can contribute greatly to a role. All of this information and education can inform your choices during a show, an audition, a callback, and any theatrical or on-camera opportunity.

Do not get me wrong, having amazing vocal chops is awesome to hear and experience in person. But, when you are able to tell a story and make a real connection with others on stage that is priceless and unforgettable. And that makes all the difference.

Exhaustion looks like

I want to live my life as an artist. This decision comes with some difficult choices. For example, as I continue to find more and more success as an actress/singer, I still grow weary of supplementing my income with other non-artistic work. Of course, I seldom complain because what good does it do. But it can be exhausting and that is what I want to share with you. Just because I am able to earn money from doing a show 7-8 times per week and twice on Sunday and Wednesday does not mean that it is not exhausting. Just because I love being on stage and in front of the camera does not mean that I do not get tired like anyone else who works a job they love or hate. Because despite the make up and the pretty costumes and the accolades, this is a job.

It is even more exhausting when others assume that you are having such a great time with no struggles or trauma, simply because you are doing what you love. Well when what you love pays as inconsistent as this work does, it can make you weary. And at times, even after a great show and a great audition like I had today, I get weary.

I constantly write about the many blessings that God continues to shower upon my life, and how many of those blessings allow me to live my life as an artist. But there are times that I feel as if I cannot breathe or make a positive decision because a bill is due that cannot be paid on time or sometimes not at all. There are times that I do not want to walk into a substandard charter school and earn some extra dollars as a substitute teacher because the toxic environment makes me feel so depressed for the children, teachers, and myself. There are times that my college students literally make me want to push them out a window as a result of poor writing or simply having a poor work ethic. There are moments that I wish I could simply exist in my art and that the financial blessings would ALWAYS match the spiritual/creative ones.

So you know what? I will admit that I am exhausted. I will admit that at times I am so broke, I cannot afford to pay attention or to even attend a show to support my friends who are performing. But, I will not give in nor will I give up. But if you see me next time and I am complaining about work, do not negate my vent by saying, “Well you are lucky because you are doing what you love. And you always look like you are having so much fun.” Take a breath before that crazy shit falls from your mouth and realize that it is also hard work and the dedication it takes to keep going can at times be exhausting, mind boggling, and even impossible at times. And unlike many, I am working several jobs I can barely stand in order to stay in my actress/singer lane so it is not on all giggles and glitter.

  

When the money panic attack monster makes a visit

I am currently in rehearsal for Lysistrata Jones at Meadow Brook Theatre in Rochester, Michigan with an amazingly talented cast. But, this is not about what a great time I am having playing the role of Heteira, this is about the horrible panic attack I had a few evenings ago about money. Yes, I love my life as a performer, but I have a confession to make.

At times I am often reminded of how stretched my finances can become. And then I begin to panic! I quickly begin to think, I should forgo joy so that I can have a healthy bank account with an actual savings. Not just simply some funds I saved thanks to an awesome opportunity to simply use when I fall short paying bills in the next few months. Or even better, I stacked enough cash to treat myself and my daughter to a wonderful staycation (that's right we stay in the city, LOL). Either way, I find that these panic attacks creep on me in the middle of the night and literally eat away at my artistic spirit.

Fuck me! And fuck those unhappy people who I bump into who often speak of the sacrifices they make in order to provide for those they love. Damn them and their guilt! (Taking a deep breath) Once I get through this little episode, I quickly realize something. I am absolutely ecstatic to be doing what I do. I love being on stage, in front of the camera, or writing. I LOVE IT! And I may never drop a million dollars or more on a house because I reach superstar status, but I would never trade this life and the panic attacks for anything else. You know why? Because I have done the other stuff. I have worked at the responsible job with the bi-weekly or bi-monthly paycheck and you know what? I barely saw my daughter. I barely saved more money. And most of all, there were times I felt so suffocated, I thought I would die. And that is the truth.

Note to fellow artists. If you ever feel the financial panic attack monster coming to visit, remind yourself of the joy you find in this world. Remind yourself that you have the talent to find many side hustles because you are talented and versatile and intelligent (that is why you are an amazing actor, singer, and/or dancer). Because the money panic attack monster will never go away as long as you are living but you do not have to invite him in for a damn dinner. Give him a cup of water and send him on his way and most of all KEEP IT MOVING!