Saturday, August 31, 2013

Why did I join the union?

During this Labor Day weekend, I would like to take a break from the regular programming to speak about why I believe union membership is important to me.

When I joined, I remember theaters paying $75 per week or simply nothing. This is probably why we are called starving artists. So when is art valued? When is the work so important that you can actually earn a living wage? When can you afford more than the dollar menu at McDonalds?

Once I started working at professional theaters, I knew I wanted to join the union. I know that some of us feel as if we are better off without the membership and the dues. Some of us are afraid that work will simply dry up once we cross over. There is some truth to all of this. But, most of it is mired in the fear of change.When I got my first residual check from SAG, I was happier than a pig in butter. It convinced me even more. (And some of those checks still come 10 years later)

As a Black female actress, my work is already limited. So why oh why should I not get paid fairly for the few gigs that I can and will get each year? I want to be eligible for insurance even if it is  only for 6 months or it takes me 3 years to get it. I will never get it as a non-union member. I also want the opportunity to collect a small or middle scale pension once I am vested. I also want to work in a safe space with clean facilities (that is only protected under AEA policies). It allows us the opportunity to file for unemployment benefits in between gigs and workers compensation when we are injured. (This profession can be dangerous - Ask the folks in the Spider Man musical or the dancers from Lion King)

On the flip side, I pay semi-annual dues to 2 organizations that do not guarantee work or work availability. There are times that paying just does not fit into one's budget. You must weigh the pros and cons for self. Personally, it has always been worth it to make sure that I spent the necessary money.

It is also important that you do not work with individuals who care nothing for their membership. I nearly did a reading which was advertised as being AEA sponsored. Just to find out that no application was ever filed and the person in charge had just had her own AEA membership revoked a few months before. I got the fuck up out of that situation and made sure that the other cast members were duly informed so that each of us could make a real decision based on truth rather than fiction.

This is one other reason why it takes money to make money. But, if you are in it for the long haul, union membership is always worth it. I am proud card carrying member!

The Yellowman Experience - Part 1

The show closed in New Hampshire on December 31. I flew to Philadelphia on January 1 after they de-iced the plane. (That was scary!) I washed my locs for the first time in weeks. (Don't judge me. It was never over 10 degrees in NH so why bother) I slept and woke up to catch a plane to Chicago on January 2. While in Chicago for the day, I posted several ads for a nanny in Rhode Island. I packed my daughter's things and headed back to the airport to catch a flight on January 3 to Providence. I interviewed and checked references on the same day. Rehearsal began January 4 and I brought Maya with me with a bag of toys and a portable DVD player (Life saver). I hired a nanny the same day and she started January 5.(She was amazing and still checks in on Maya from time time thanks to FB)

That made me exhausted reading that. What I forgot to mention is how I got the small theater to agree to housing and transportation for me and my daughter? I paid for my daughter's plane ticket, but everything else including pay was negotiated between me and the theater shortly after I received the email. At first, they only had available housing in homes with supporters of the theater or a room in a house. I had to balance not sounding like a diva but making sure that I came to an arrangement that was fair but accommodating for me and a soon to be 5 year old. That required me knowing my own value, and being professional enough to not ruffle any feathers. Who knew? I did not take a class in college called Contract Negotiation 101. No coach can tell you this. This is a skill you must learn as you progress as an artist. I never knew that the minimum pay scale was a starting point. If they really want you, and you really want to eat and pay rent, everything is negotiable. Everything! How do you know when to take the minimum and when you do not? Your financial state will tell you and your heart will push you when you feel scared and unsure. You will also pray and cry over it until a decision is made. How did I know that an equally talented Black actress would not take the minimum and my place?

I knew I needed enough to feed 2 people and pay the nanny. And have a few dollars to spare after.  I also knew that I wanted to play this role no matter what.

 I also knew that my daughter was going to give me a hard way to go during the transition. That is a story for another time.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Boom Boom! Then a gift

Before I headed to New Hampshire I attended an audition for Yellowman by Dael Orlandersmith. I only attended this audition because a dear friend (my artist warrior) brought to my attention that a theatre was seeking someone to play the role of Alma. I was fresh off the bus from Philadelphia after choreographing a fashion show and visiting my then boyfriend, I really just wanted to head to bed. This is why you need artist warriors in your life. They are the ones who will remind you that you need to take your ass to the audition even when you are feeling completely unmotivated. I have a few in my life and we are that voice of reason and inspiration for each other constantly.

So after being cussed out over the phone, I headed to the audition. I did not have an appointment but their 11:30 am had not shown up. So the monitor asked if I would like to go in. Sure, why not?

I entered the room and there are 2 gentlemen. I started and finished my monologue and then he started putting me through the paces. More and more directions were being thrown at me. Some I agreed with and some simply annoyed me. Then I read with the reader and that just drove me bonkers because mack trucks went through each line since he had slow cue pick ups. In my mind, I am screaming. I cannot wait to get out of there. And the worst part was that I love the play and still do. He said thank you and off to New Hampshire I went.

While I am there, I have NO service on my cell. And the bed and breakfast we stayed at only had dial up for the internet. I literally felt like I was in a technological island. One day during rehearsal, I was informed that the library had internet (It was only open in the afternoon). During break, I ran over to check my emails since I barely could get any phone calls. What did I find?! Several emails from the Black Repertory Theater in Providence, Rhode Island offering me the role of Alma in Yellowman! What!? Shame it was dated days ago. I quickly sent a response back and the negotiations began.

I finally got a call from my mom who simply said, "It is time for you to come and get Maya." Boom! Can you come soon? Boom!

This was not my mom stopping her support or being a non-believer. This is life and truth. This is one of the many scenarios that come with being a single parent actress.

How does it feel when you daughter is mad at you? How do you prepare for a 3-dimensional role when you have been previously a type (sassy black girl)? It looks like a life lesson


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

After the Boom

Fall 2005, and I lived in New York City. I stopped teaching full-time because that is not why I moved from Chicago. I meet someone nice (more on him later). Guess what? I found a new agent. I began life as a substitute teacher for more flexibility. Funny, but true story. In a moment of panic (bills and a mortgage can do that), I interviewed for a teaching position at Anonymous Middle School in Astoria. Did not get hired. Sign up as a substitute, and get assigned to the same school for the same position that I did not get hired for. Principal informs me that the only reason I did not get hired is because I did not hold a NY teaching certificate. "You mean the one right here in my hand." Then he asked if I wanted the job because I was amazing as a substitute. I laughed out loud and said no! I love working half days because they allow me to audition, which is why I moved to NYC in the first place. He proceeded to tell me that he was only offering me a full time position and I could take it or leave it. I told him, "Well, I am not the one without a teacher. And since I know nobody is coming soon I guess I can keep subbing until you find someone more permanent."

He called the next day and offered me half the salary for a half day position. He found a second teacher to come in when I left. It is funny what happens when you realize what you really want to do and  are no longer committed to what you are expected to do. I continued to audition and represented a local city college at school college fairs around the city. The hustle continued. Except, this time it was centered around authentic auditions. The ones where I checked all of my sadness and regret at the door and brought the rediscovered joy of why I love acting/singing into the room with me.

I walked into a room for Christmas Carol Rag. It was playing at Barnstormers Theatre in New Hampshire. There was barely a line at the Actor's Equity Building. Up to this point, I am getting more callbacks but no work. I walk into the room. Get the callback. Get the job. I am Ruthie and the Ghost of Christmas Present. It was 2 degrees the entire time I was there, and there were signs all over warning us to Beware the Black Bears, but baby, it was just what I needed until another Boom and the role of a lifetime came knocking.

And then the Boom comes

Boom!

The calls stop coming from my new agent. You remember the one that I got with such ease? Well, I did not book anything soon and his patience was short.  It could have been because into every audition I carried my daughter not being in NYC, my desperation to make it, my need to prove that my move to NY was right. I brought so much with me, I forgot bring my talented self into the room.

Boom Boom!

A fellow artist said, "Girl, you are just happy to be in NY as a single woman with no child." Really?! This one had me wandering the streets of Bed Stuy convinced that she spoke the truth. And I cried. No, wept as I walked with literal strangers handing me tissues.

Boom Boom Boom!
I leave and the band that was keeping my musical strength alive falls to pieces. A personality and control malfunction tore it apart. Soul of a Chanteuse ended and I felt  a little lost.

The most important part about all of these is that they occurred in total silence and with no support from the outside. Not because there was none. But because I did not want to reach out. I was tired and exhausted and I did not need anyone to remind me about it. I just wanted to do nothing. The great thing about spirit and God is that they never allow you to stay down for long.

My little corner of the earth on the top floor in Brooklyn gave me some room to be silent. I needed to figure out what to do next.

Lesson: This artistic life is not an easy road. Talent and opportunities are not enough. You need help. You need support. Most of all you need spiritual endurance and wisdom. The willingness to realize that Booms can become something more. And never let assholes make you feel less or that your choices are not valid.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

You got to spend money to make money

I know you are waiting to hear about the Boom. But, before I jump into that matrix, I would like to explore the finances connected to being an artist.

It takes money to make money. It is more of an obstacle when the business barely produces a red cent in the beginning. Before moving to NYC, I spent money on headshots, voice lessons, coaching, scripts, copies of music, gas, plane tickets, a mortgage, property taxes, self-help books, and more and more bills. If you think that you can simply leap into this shit without a job that you tolerate or a kind sponsor then you are fooling yourself.  If you are not in a union, you may be earning $100 per week for your artistic efforts. Or nothing! So you better love this life because it does not always love you back.

Once I hit NYC, that amazing show I spoke of earlier, Soul of a Chanteuse, cost me even more money. In fact, I have no idea how I paid a mortgage for an empty house in Chicago, rent in Brooklyn, the musicians, for rehearsal space, more voice lessons, transportation, more pictures, sent money home for my daughter, and FOOD.  You know how I did it? I taught at school where I literally trained my students to help me sneak out to auditions. And I still actually taught them so that almost all of them passed the NY state tests with flying colors.

This section is an interruption in my time continuum for those up and coming artists who still believe that this is an easy path. It is not. And I want you to jump in knowing full well that an eviction notice can be in your near future.

Now back to the BOOM.

You just got here and you want to do what!?

I packed my bags and drove to New York City. Thanks to the kindness of a friend I had a floor to lay my air mattress on. I attended a job fair for the New York Board of Education and got offered a teaching position in Brooklyn. All of this in the heat of a New York City Summer. Ooh! The smell of yummy garbage in the air and the roaches that like to follow you to the train platform. Yes! Yes! Yes!

I thought of a cabaret show (Soul of a Chanteuse). So I contacted the Duplex in lower Manhattan and booked some dates. Small problem. I had no musicians, script, or anyone to get to fill the seats. Soon the problem was solved thanks to Craig's list and some great promotional tools from my ex-boyfriend. I forgot to menion. I am still auditioning and teaching while I am trying to make this a reality. I never realized how much sleep is not necessary when you are focused.

That three piece band made some great music. I was writing poetry an ancedotes daily. The city has that effect on you. Every person, smell, noise, and event became a new piece. Before I knew it, the show materialized. I booked 3 dates. The first one was slightly full, I basically broke even. The 2nd one, thanks to my ability to talk to total strangers, was completely sold out! I did it! I am exhausted but I did it.

This little cabaret launched into an actual band. Yes. We added a guitar player and background vocals. Then I started booking gigs. No press kit. No sample of music. Eventually a video clip. And we played around NYC!

So what happened next that made almost everything go BOOM in my face?

Monday, August 19, 2013

What do you mean I'm pregnant?

Yes. Pregnant. I thought I was experiencing stress. Is that why my period is missing, but I take birth control pills. Oh my God! What am I going to do? Then all of my Catholic/Preacher granddaughter guilt kicked in. "I'm not even married." "What the F***K!" Then my mother asked me some important questions.

  1. Can you take care of this baby alone?
  2. Will you be okay?
  3. Are you worried about still being able to act? We will work it out?
I had to consider what I had thus far. (I had a house, a job with insurance, and some common sense) I can do this. Yeah, right! Then I gave birth to an amazing little girl. Besides the mind numbing pain and the epidural that really didn't work. I did it! She was born February 2, 2001 at 2:01 pm and was 21 inches long and 8 pounds. I'm a mommy!

My life changed. And the first thing I did was leave my teaching job (Bye insurance!) because I refused to waste one more minute not pursuing my dreams and goals. I started auditioning like a mad woman and before my daughter turned 3 I earned my SAG card (Thank you Barber Shop 2) and my Actor's Equity Card (Thank you Little Shop of Horrors and all the rest of those pesky points). I even got a better agent, who got me NY auditions. I flew back and forth with little to no money (Thank you ATA).

My mother came and picked me up from the airport one late evening and asked my why I did not move to NYC. I pointed to my toddler in the back seat and figured the answer was clear. She then offered me 1 year. She would keep my daughter while I moved to NYC and make things happen. Wow! Before I knew it, I was New York bound. This is going to be awesome! I had an agent! My daughter would be safe and happy! I am going to get lots of work!

So then why oh why did something entirely different happen. Because unexpected shit always happens. Always!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Back in the day

During my senior year of high school, I was a thespian. Always in the background on stage, but outspoken in the halls of Mother McAuley. I was directing and choreographing, yet always in the chorus. Then my big break came with the Illinois Theater Festival. It was then that I realized I could actually do this. This acting thing. Soo I turned down my engineering scholarships and attended Millikin University and later University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana.

My grandma was so happy, "That I finally figured it out." According to her, I had been putting on shows since the age of 3 and needed to be pulled out of my denial. And my grandpa always said,"College is where you meet people and gain experiences, it is not the only ingredient needed to find a career." Maybe they were right.

Battled the same ills I see in the world of performing today. Not enough actors of color on stage. Not enough professors of color in the theatre, music, and/or dance department. Not enough support for those of us that do not look like the main stream. So what did I do? I started directing main stream scripts in a black box space at Millikin that featured non-traditional casting. Yes, I used an interracial couple in a scene from Fences. Because his story is one of vulnerability, class, racism, and the complexities of love. I wrote about it and other ills in our first minority newsletter (N Da Mix).
Looking back, all of these experiences shaped me into the person I am today.

Then someone dared me to do stand up at an fundraiser for the local women's shelter. Why did they do that? Nothing like a shot of brandy and some confidence. It was amazing. Those who are reading this will remember that it kind of took off. Who knew?!

Instead of taking a class about comedic timing and improv, I simply jumped on stage in front of a bunch of strangers and learned the hard way. And it is a lesson I continue to master and boy does it ever work.

So why oh why has this journey been so arduous and filled with peaks and valleys? Because it is called acting. And this is what the shit really looks like.

In the beginning

I graduated from undergraduate thinking that I had 5 years and then Broadway. Yes, just like those self-help books I had a plan. I started teaching for Chicago Public Schools in 1996 and quickly started taking voice lessons, getting headshots, more dance classes, and auditioning. I did a small play written by a woman who saved money cleaning hotels until she could achieve her dream of producing her musical. I met and worked with some amazing performers, but the script was a complete disaster. Guess what?! I did it anyway. Then I joined a band. We sang every cover known to man and it helped me to become an even better performer. Did I get paid for my early efforts? Hell no! And I even managed to purchase a house at the tender age of 23. And I barely slept. But, I knew then and still know now that no one owes me anything except for the experience I get from the work. No matter how tedious. This is a lesson lost on young, upcoming performers. Don't get me wrong money pays the bills, but experience, talent, and your reputation get you the work.

Then I finally booked my first professional show. Violet. At the now closed Apple Tree Theatre. Another great experience. I had the fortunate opportunity to work for a principal (who will remain nameless) who let me attend rehearsals during the day and keep full time employment as a teacher at her school. She said that she agreed to this borderline illegal gesture because, "If I tell you no, you will simply quit and the students learn so much from you." Many of my students attended the show and many others because of this gesture.

Now I am starting to get even more auditions, callbacks, and more work. Then something happened that would alter my trajectory.

Why is this blog important? Why should you follow it?

I do things in reverse order. Or maybe not. I was supposed to hit it big, get married, and start a family. And travel the world with my ready made family. This is the story of what really happened and why I am still in the game. This is the truth about being a single Black parent actress and what it really looks like. I am a working actress. I am not famous, you may recognize me from a few scenes here and there. But I earn a living doing what I think is the most amazingly frustrating kind of work. And I love it! I will use my sarcasm and wit to tell you some anecdotes and hopefully inspire you to follow your dreams. And that dreams change. Sometimes without warning and things become better than you ever imagined.