As I watched this new web series, The Red Table hosted by Jada Pinckett Smith and her mother and daughter, I was reminded that we must continue to surround ourselves with people who will not only laugh and cry with us, but those who will also hold up a mirror to often expose our ugly truths. I am blessed to have said people in my life but it didn’t all happen at once. It took time and openness to be able to evolve enough to accept myself for who I am. And to shed those who were not contributing to my journey or to recognize that not all of us are ever in the same place at the same time.
So this is my reminder to me and to all of us women. We should always have each other first. When we ask how can we nurture and develop the next generation, the simple answer is by living our best life and being a living example. Actions always speak louder than words. When you are constantly tearing someone else down you are telling the world that you are small and have no self esteem. Yes, many of us crack jokes and can be funny at someone else’s expense but if we never stop we have to ask ourselves why. Why? And what is it about me at this moment that is making me feel, sad, silenced, or ignored. One should never regain power by pummeling others.
Women are the backbone of society. And that often makes us exhausted and feel less than. We are the ones with the biggest S on our chest with no parade or reward in sight. It is vital that we hold each up and not tear each other down. If you have some relationships that can be healed, I challenge you to take the first step and say something. If afterwards, you feel as if it can never be a friendship again that is okay but now you have some peace. Some healing has to be done from afar. And that is okay too. Just practice letting go so you can be free.
And if your circle gets smaller as you evolve and heal, just remember that quality over quantity is always the goal. As we get older we may talk less or spend less time, but always leave the door open and stop putting rules on how sister should or have to engage.
Spend some time alone so you can actually realize what joy looks like for YOU. Many women are people pleasers and that is going nowhere fast. When you begin to hold yourself in value, especially for women of color, you will be able to combat everything in society that tells you that you are nothing.
Love all of your sisters, biological and not, and most importantly love yourself and LIVE in joy and open spirit.
