Boom!
The calls stop coming from my new agent. You remember the one that I got with such ease? Well, I did not book anything soon and his patience was short. It could have been because into every audition I carried my daughter not being in NYC, my desperation to make it, my need to prove that my move to NY was right. I brought so much with me, I forgot bring my talented self into the room.
Boom Boom!
A fellow artist said, "Girl, you are just happy to be in NY as a single woman with no child." Really?! This one had me wandering the streets of Bed Stuy convinced that she spoke the truth. And I cried. No, wept as I walked with literal strangers handing me tissues.
Boom Boom Boom!
I leave and the band that was keeping my musical strength alive falls to pieces. A personality and control malfunction tore it apart. Soul of a Chanteuse ended and I felt a little lost.
The most important part about all of these is that they occurred in total silence and with no support from the outside. Not because there was none. But because I did not want to reach out. I was tired and exhausted and I did not need anyone to remind me about it. I just wanted to do nothing. The great thing about spirit and God is that they never allow you to stay down for long.
My little corner of the earth on the top floor in Brooklyn gave me some room to be silent. I needed to figure out what to do next.
Lesson: This artistic life is not an easy road. Talent and opportunities are not enough. You need help. You need support. Most of all you need spiritual endurance and wisdom. The willingness to realize that Booms can become something more. And never let assholes make you feel less or that your choices are not valid.
me likey... ;)
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