Single working parents cannot so we always do

Some things wake you up and lead you to write. That happened today. I started this blog to have a conversation about what being a working actor looks like on the tapestry of being a single parent. Well there are many times that the village you have created simply comes down to a single villager, me.

My daughter is working on publishing her first book and she is 13. Now as exciting and cool as that sounds, as she grows into a writer and she continues to develop her abilities as an artist, I realize that she needs a new village. She told me the other day as we were pulling an all niter filled with stress, heated conversation, and eventually finding her voice that she needs to take classes in creative writing and possibly be more social and join a book club. And then she went to bed. And it sent me to bed for a wonderful sleepless night.

I quickly started researching options in Philly and Chicago and many of them are already closed for the summer or require me to split myself into 2. You see, while I am trying to make sure that my daughter finds these opportunities, I am also in rehearsal for a concert or auditioning or teaching. It is a full time full week commitment with only a single day off each week. This pisses me off because it is my constant reality in the world of single parenthood.

I have reached out to adults to mentor her but that continues to fall to the wayside. Not because of my lack of diligence and follow up, but because some cannot get past that she is thirteen and ready to write and continue to write better. If you read this and know of someone who will actually email me back please let me know because she is a captive audience.

I wish she could find what she is looking for at school, but that is not probable when the current state of public schools is one that simply has no space to fill this need. This is why, my Maya spends countless hours in front of the computer watching you tube tutorials for inspiration, technique, and vision. She spent nearly 8 hours teaching herself how to draw wolves more realistically and accurately just a few days ago. And she carries a clipboard with her to school, daily, so that she can draw and write down story ideas.

Single parents cannot be at two places at once so we simply keep doing and doing and going and going until we can. And that is where the insanity appears in the form of exhaustion. Because as many read this, they will either shake their heads or they will say well that is why you should never have children alone. This reflection is not to garner kudos or detractors, it is simply me using my blog to share.

 And the positive part, the glass half full part of this observation is that Maya pursues her art like breathing because I do. I am not quite sure if that is as good as it sounds. But we are figuring this out as I balance being her mother, her confidant, her editor/publicist, her motivator, her teacher, her chauffeur, and simply the silence she needs to be quiet, calm and creative.