Letting Go and Silence - Welcome 2015

It is the nearing the end of yet another year. It is a time when many of us begin to make new goals for the next year or we simply move into the new year with the status quo. For me, this is a great time for silence and letting go.

I started this blog August of 2013 and in that time it has grown and stretched into more than I ever imagined, and it continues to be open to even more possibilities. The anecdotes and ideas that I share are based in my reality and observations. The reality I face daily as a single parent actress attempting to find balance and joy between all of the lives that I lead. On one hand, I am a fierce advocate for public education and for those who continue to be relegated to the sidelines. And there are times I can't attend every meeting, I can't write every article, and I can't even attend every rally. And during those moments, I can feel as if I am not doing enough. But, I definitely do my very best. The other Tamara, balances working several part time jobs so that I can always be available for auditions and acting opportunities that fulfill my soul and calling. And at times, I look at my financial outlook and feel as if I am not doing enough. The question that is always there just beyond the surface, "Am I being selfish and should I simply get over myself and stop everything to return to Job Security R US?" Or my favorite, "Parents are supposed to make sacrifices, am I doing what is right for Maya?"

The third Tamara is a parent. And that one changes hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, annually and as needed. My daughter continues to amaze me with her spirit, her questions, her talent, and her possibilities. And yet, each year I find myself with new questions, new doubts, and new fears to conquer. And each year, it gets easier because I am different, stronger, and smarter every day. I don't stop moving forward because I can't stop.

So this year, I will stop giving an audience to negative people and to those who have no dreams or aspirations. I must stop listening to untruths and to those individuals who have never meant me any good. I am getting rid of the guilt when it comes to my work in social justice. I am one person and I am always willing and able to do my part, but it is okay if I take a moment for family and self. I am going to counter the internal questions about my artistic life by preparing for each and every audition, networking with casting directors and industry professionals, and making sure that I work part time jobs that are not counter-productive to my hustle. I will write stories that combine my advocacy with my artistry. And I will always know that I am doing my best work being Maya's mom.

I embrace dating and meeting someone new, but I rebuke crazy and settling for insecurities and mess. And I will sit in silence so I can actually hear God's voice over my own.

Lastly, I will continue to surround myself with beautiful energy and passion that matches my own. And this blog will always be here to encourage, poke fun at, and honestly chat about what it means to be in this business that we call acting, performing, singing, dancing, and whatever else gives you artistic life. And I wish all of you that read this an amazing, productive, fulfilling 2015 surrounded by joy, passion, and love. And remember always this is a marathon not a race! Rewards are granted along the pathway and there is no one big win to strive for. Small blessings are just as vital as the large ones. So look back on all that you have already accomplished and be encouraged by what lies ahead.